Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Some individuals think that
kids
must spend all their free
time
with their families
while
others
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
that it is unnecessary to do
this
.
Eventhought
Correct your spelling
Even though
many people believe that
children
need to
spell
Verb problem
spend
show examples
all their
time
with their family, I strongly believe that
this
is a negative aspect for
kids
because they need to socialize with their classmates and learn
fron
Correct your spelling
from
their abilities as well. Many parents believe that
children
need to stay at
home
because they need to learn from their customs and
acttitudes
Correct your spelling
attitudes
.
Firstly
, it is vital for adults to teach their
children
how to act in difficult situations, and they love to talk to them at
home
.
Also
, they teach them how to eat properly and stay together all the
time
to create great memories.
For instance
, many cultures in Latino America believe that
children
need to stay at
home
all the
time
to avoid issues or bad behaviours.
However
, I believe that
children
need to get
along with
kids
at their age to learn how to socialize and behave with others. The vast majority of parents believe that it is unnecessary for
children
to stay at
home
all the
time
,and
on the contrary
,
kids
need to get
along with
other
kids
for their
well-mental being
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
. More importantly,
kids
need to socialize with other
children
to learn how
this
society really works, so they might be functional adults.
Also
,
Kids
need to learn from other
children
how to develop new skills
such
as playing soccer, swimming or dancing.
For instance
,
kids
in The United States usually spend all their
time
at school with other classmates and they teach others how to develop new skills like swimming
compentencies
Correct your spelling
competencies
and playing basketball. I believe
this
is a preferable way of thinking because
kids
need to get
along with
other
kids
and learn new ways of thinking.
To conclude
,
although
some parents believe they need to keep their
children
with them all the
time
to teach them, I strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
it is more convenient to let them grow and learn from classmates, and
this
might give them new ways of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Minimize grammatical and spelling errors for better clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Present balanced views with stronger support and examples on both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Main ideas and arguments are clearly stated and supported with examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strengthen family bonds
  • emotional support
  • instill values
  • nurturing environment
  • secure and loved
  • social skills
  • independence
  • sense of identity
  • diverse environments
  • adaptable
  • open-minded
  • balanced development
  • foundational support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: