Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Some individuals think that

kids

Use synonyms

must spend all their free

time

Use synonyms

with their families

while

Linking Words

others

said

Wrong verb form

say

show examples

that it is unnecessary to do

this

Linking Words

Eventhought

Correct your spelling

Even though

many people believe that

children

Use synonyms

need to

spell

Verb problem

spend

show examples

all their

time

Use synonyms

with their family, I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

is a negative aspect for

kids

Use synonyms

because they need to socialize with their classmates and learn

fron

Correct your spelling

from

their abilities as well. Many parents believe that

children

Use synonyms

need to stay at

home

Use synonyms

because they need to learn from their customs and

acttitudes

Correct your spelling

attitudes

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is vital for adults to teach their

children

Use synonyms

how to act in difficult situations, and they love to talk to them at

home

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, they teach them how to eat properly and stay together all the

time

Use synonyms

to create great memories.

For instance

Linking Words

, many cultures in Latino America believe that

children

Use synonyms

need to stay at

home

Use synonyms

all the

time

Use synonyms

to avoid issues or bad behaviours.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

children

Use synonyms

need to get

along with

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

at their age to learn how to socialize and behave with others. The vast majority of parents believe that it is unnecessary for

children

Use synonyms

to stay at

home

Use synonyms

all the

time

Use synonyms

,and

on the contrary

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

need to get

along with

Linking Words

other

kids

Use synonyms

for their

well-mental being

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

. More importantly,

kids

Use synonyms

need to socialize with other

children

Use synonyms

to learn how

this

Linking Words

society really works, so they might be functional adults.

Also

Linking Words

Kids

Use synonyms

need to learn from other

children

Use synonyms

how to develop new skills

such

Linking Words

as playing soccer, swimming or dancing.

For instance

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

in The United States usually spend all their

time

Use synonyms

at school with other classmates and they teach others how to develop new skills like swimming

compentencies

Correct your spelling

competencies

and playing basketball. I believe

this

Linking Words

is a preferable way of thinking because

kids

Use synonyms

need to get

along with

Linking Words

other

kids

Use synonyms

and learn new ways of thinking.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

some parents believe they need to keep their

children

Use synonyms

with them all the

time

Use synonyms

to teach them, I strongly

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

it is more convenient to let them grow and learn from classmates, and

this

Linking Words

might give them new ways of

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

cuevas14dic

Jul 10, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance coherence.

task achievement

Minimize grammatical and spelling errors for better clarity and professionalism.

task achievement

Present balanced views with stronger support and examples on both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Main ideas and arguments are clearly stated and supported with examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

strengthen family bonds
emotional support
instill values
nurturing environment
secure and loved
social skills
independence
sense of identity
diverse environments
adaptable
open-minded
balanced development
foundational support

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These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

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