IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think that cheap air flights should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The world is more
globalizaion
Correct your spelling
globalization
, there are more
air
Use synonyms
 flights which people can book
resonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 for travel.
Body paragraph 1
However
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low
Add a hyphen
low-price
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 airplanes are famous for
racist
Replace the word
racism
show examples
, bad service and
quality
Correct word choice
poor quality
show examples
. Today,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 explain each perspective with some additional examples.
Body paragraph 2
In
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 view, the
price
Use synonyms
 of
air
Use synonyms
flight
Use synonyms
 is the most considerable point when people plan their travel.
Body paragraph 3
But, a first-rate airline is
quite
Change the article
quite an
a quite
show examples
 expensive
price
Use synonyms
 in spite of
short
Add an article
the short
show examples
 distance, so
this
Linking Words
 situation
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 decreasing
travelers
Change noun form
travelers'
traveler's
show examples
 chance to experience a new world. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cheap
air
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
 can give more chances to choose various travel
destinauton
Correct your spelling
destinations
destination
, and more freedom.
Body paragraph 4
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are negative
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
views
 for a second-rate airline.
Fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cheap airlines have worse
safe
Replace the word
safety
show examples
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emergency
Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
flight
Use synonyms
 attendants do not have
service
Correct article usage
a service
show examples
 mind compared with the expensive airline, so there are a lot of issues about
racist
Replace the word
racism
show examples
 and poor attitude.
Conclusion
To the end
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
discuss
Replace the word
discussion
show examples
, there are
lost
Correct your spelling
lots
show examples
 of
pors
Correct your spelling
pros
 and cons. People can choose
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
show examples
 on their individual situation and budget.
Also
Linking Words
,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 can experience memorable things
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cheap
air
Use synonyms
flight
Use synonyms
, and disappoint
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 expensive
air
Use synonyms
flight
Use synonyms
. I hope they enjoy the
flight
Use synonyms
 whatever they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure introduction and conclusion are clear and strong. An effective introduction should set the stage for the discussion, while a compelling conclusion should summarize the key points and provide a final perspective.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence structures and vocabulary. By varying your language, your essay will be more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of English language proficiency.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more compelling. For instance, mention particular airlines or incidents to illustrate your claims about poor service or safety concerns.
task achievement
Develop each point more fully to ensure that your response is comprehensive. This may include explaining why cheap flights provide freedom or elaborating on the environmental impact of air travel.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both positive and negative aspects of cheap air flights, showing an effort to present a balanced view.
task achievement
The writer attempts to directly address the topic and stay relevant throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The points raised in the essay are generally understandable and on-topic, which contributes to task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: