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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The given picture illustrates the process of canning of fish. It is manifest from the graph that 15 steps are involved from the initial catching to the final dispatch to supermarkets.

#picture #process #fish #steps #dispatch #supermarkets
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The provided diagram details the canning process for
fish
, illustrating the 15 steps involved from the initial catch to the final dispatch to supermarkets.
First,
the
fish
 are caught and immediately frozen for storage. They are
then
 unloaded, weighed, and thawed. Following thawing, the
fish
 are cut into large pieces and steam-cooked. After cooking, they are cooled and filleted or cut into smaller pieces. These pieces are
then
 placed into cans, and brine, water, or oil is added. The cans are
subsequently
 sealed and heated for sterilization.
Finally
, the cans are stamped or
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
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, stored, and dispatched to supermarkets for sale. In conclusion, the canning process for
fish
 is a detailed and meticulous procedure involving many critical steps to ensure the
fish
's freshness and long-term edibility.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
To elevate your essay to the highest band, you might consider adding a bit more detail about each step, especially those that might be less obvious or require special attention during the process.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases or connectors more frequently to link each step in the process more smoothly. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay successfully covers all steps of the canning process, providing a clear comprehension of the procedure.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a very logical structure, starting from catching the fish and concluding with the dispatch to supermarkets.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is well-crafted, summarizing the process neatly and emphasizing the importance of each step.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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