In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
In the world, a substantial number of Individuals live more than in the past.
However
, recent researchers have shown that the growth of the population can destroy the environment quickly, and the government must divide crowded places into other regions. Therefore
, the causes and effects of these on this
approach, as well as
possible solutions, are outlined below.
It's no doubt that the environment can be changed when many people
live their
. Replace the word
there
moreover
, the pollution of the area is able to create many problems, such
as lack of food or weak water, so new sick can be creative. no sooner can the government overcome the difficulty, but new problems can start for crowded of inhabit
. Verb problem
inhabitants
although
developed countries have new methods of controlling cities, they have some problems with people
. Tokyo is the biggest city in the world and is an enormous city. council town seeks to model for saving green areas of the city that were destroyed when people
immigration boomed in Tokyo.
New politics in many countries are villages and small cities develop, and many young people
back to the village for farming and life since dividing accommodation of an area can help that for
balance Change preposition
apply
in
produce and customs. despite the government encouraging many Change preposition
apply
people
, to pretend to change their homes. when an area can control its population, it can plan for the future easily. For example
, China is a big country and has many cities. where more, it has
not Verb problem
does
many
surgeries but can control Add a missing verb
have many
any things
. and now have Correct your spelling
anything
big
economy.
In conclusion, pollution is an important problem for increasing human but good politics can Add an article
a big
the big
solution
that problem.Replace the word
solve
Submitted by pooriyarashidi6 on
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task achievement
Your essay outlines a basic understanding of the topic. However, it lacks clarity and some points are not fully developed. Ensure that each point directly relates to the topic and is explained in detail.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to make your points clearer. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence clearly relates to your main points.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples and explanations for your arguments. More specific examples will strengthen your essay and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You have identified some relevant issues regarding ageing populations and provided a general overview of potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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