IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#water #resource #governments #world #control #citizens
Water
 is
a
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an
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 undeniable resource for human beings. It is a valuable resource, so, the
ministry
 should monitor
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
 usage from their citizens
to
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apply
show examples
around the world. I
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 agree with
this
pheremenon
Correct your spelling
point
 and
this
 essay will examine
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
to
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in
show examples
 the following paragraphs. To commence with, the
ministry
 should control their resident's
water
 usage in order to save
the
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apply
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water
 for
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 because we already face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 scarcity in some parts of the world, so, the ruling party should take some measures to save
water
.
For example
, the local government should conduct
the
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apply
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about saving
water
, and how to save
the
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apply
show examples
water
like
Change preposition
through
show examples
 videos, dramas, and billboards, and
as a result
, People might save
water
instead
 of waste. Hereby,
water
 use should be monitored by the government
besides
humans
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human
show examples
 waste
water
 resources.
Furthermore
, the
ministry
 should teach students about
water
 resources and how we should protect
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
for
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apply
show examples
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 next generations through
syllabus
Add an article
the syllabus
a syllabus
show examples
of
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on
show examples
water
along with
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 practice to them wing minimum
water
of
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for
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 everyday work.
For instance
,
formers
Correct your spelling
farmers
show examples
 should use irrigation
method
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methods
show examples
 for their land, families should try to minimize their house chores of
water
 utilise and factories should not dump
to
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apply
show examples
their factory
wastage
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waste
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 into
river
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rivers
show examples
,
sea
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seas
show examples
, and
pond
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ponds
show examples
. There are
the
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apply
show examples
strict actions that need to be monitored by the authorities. In conclusion,
it is clear that
water
 resources
is
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are
show examples
 of utmost significance in
human's
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human
show examples
 lives,
hence
, the
ministry
 should control their resident's
water
 use through
campaings
Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
, awareness and strict action towards
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
 who misuse natural
refources
Correct your spelling
resources
. On the whole, I strongly agree with
this
 statement because the
governmen
Correct your spelling
government
 only can control
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 crucial issues.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to more clearly communicate ideas.
task response
Provide more detailed examples to support the main points discussed.
coherence
Develop more fluid transitions between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases and ensure that each paragraph contributes new information to the argument.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task understanding
The task is understood and relevant points are made regarding the importance of water conservation.
supporting examples
Efforts are made to support main points with examples, even though these could be further developed.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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