Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities?
In the modern world, celebrities have a significant attraction among the public because of their talents, skills, and popularity, sometimes money. Some
people
tend to mimic them as they watch on television or refer to articles in newspapers. In my opinion, following famous people
from society
without understanding the
reality is not a mature thing which is not being followed by the intelligent in Correct article usage
apply
society
. This
essay will elaborate on the former opinion and will provide relevant reasons behind it.
To begin
the average youth has a prevalence of following social media
,and online streams rather than journals and articles. So, most of them have become followers of popular characters on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. A British journal published a research article on the usage of social media
and newspapers.It reveals that the majority of society
spends lots of time watching gossip and finding the information on personal lives of well-known characters and always they are watching for
new videos or new facts about them .The tendency to spend more leisure time on social Change preposition
apply
media
and other sources is a major cause for trying to mimic what they watch from popular figures .
In terms of the negative side of the social phenomena has affected personal life as well as
society
.Endeavour
to become a duplicate of a popular person is considered a significant talent by some teenagers.Maintaining their own personal traits is vital in one's life rather than copying another. Some news articles have been published reporting incidents that Correct article usage
The endeavour
people
who confronted horrible events after going to mimic
famous characters without considering dangerous aspects. Wrong verb form
mimicking
For instance
, there is a film shooted based on a
story of a boy who copied a superhero and got disappointed Correct article usage
the
finally
and committed suicide. It is clear that
making decisions unknowingly will create lots of trouble which has devastating effects.
To conclude
,spending more valuable time on social media
and looking at huge figures in the surrounding environment is a major reason Change preposition
for that
that
incidence of mimicking famous Correct determiner usage
the
people
. Automatically, most of the humans used to follow such
people
has
had detrimental effects on their personality development and Correct subject-verb agreement
have
also
the society
.Submitted by oriexam6 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task questions, however, you need to ensure that ideas are expressed more clearly and systematically. For instance, the transition between the reasons for mimicking celebrities and the consequences is not very smooth. Try using transitional phrases to link your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay lack a clear logical structure. Specifically, your first body paragraph needs a clearer topic sentence, and your second body paragraph should have a smoother transition from the discussion of consequences to the examples provided. Use signposting language explicitly to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure overall.
coherence cohesion
You provide relevant examples and reasons to support your points. The British journal and the film story are fitting illustrations to back up your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.