IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that scientists experimenting with animals in the laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for human use to what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #scientists #animals #laboratory #guarantee #products
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Several individuals believe that conducting
a
Correct article usage
apply
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laboratory testing
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 should be done in order to ensure
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 safety
ince
Correct your spelling
if
 it is consumed by societies. I tend to disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 its cruelty,
while
Linking Words
 in fact, there is an alternative way when it comes to
product
Use synonyms
 testing these days. First and foremost, it is cruel to cause
animals
Use synonyms
suffer
Add the particle
to suffer
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 from pain. The results of
such
Linking Words
 laboratory experiments to the animal's health system might not be predicted, since scientists are still in their testing phase and the results of the tests in the lab might not come as expected. The chemicals contained in the
product
Use synonyms
's prototype,
therefore
Linking Words
, could be dangerous to some
animals
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 or even could be deadly for them.
For instance
Linking Words
, rabbits might
have
Verb problem
be
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 allergic or
died
Wrong verb form
die
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 after being tested
on
Change preposition
in
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cosmetics
Correct article usage
a cosmetics
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 lab
due to
Linking Words
 chemicals like mercury and
hydroquinon
Correct your spelling
hydroquinone
, which are the main ingredients of
such
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products
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 technological era, there are lots of options
of
Change preposition
for
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product
Use synonyms
testings
Fix the agreement mistake
testing
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 rather than using
animals
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 the lab. Recently, higher-technological facilities are being used in several hospitals.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are possibilities for using computer-assisted tools in terms of
product
Use synonyms
 testing before launching it to the market. Artificial intelligence can be maximized as a tool to detect whether the ingredients within the
products
Use synonyms
 are safe for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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. To illustrate, Loreal Group use computer-based reconstructed human skin, which are similar to
human's
Change noun form
human
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 skin textures, in testing their
products
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 rather than testing on the skin of the living creatures. In conclusion, I believe that it is not an appropriate way to conduct experiments with
animals
Use synonyms
 before selling the
products
Use synonyms
 to customers, since it may cause pain to the
animals
Use synonyms
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
On
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, there is another option to choose as an alternative way in terms of
product
Use synonyms
 testing
instead
Linking Words
 of causing harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other creatures.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure smooth transitions between ideas for even better coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Work on refining the examples provided to make them more impactful and directly related to your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear and structured approach to presenting your argument, which enhances the logical flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, making it well-rounded.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your position, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • guarantee
  • safe
  • human use
  • scientists
  • experimenting
  • laboratory
  • animal testing
  • valuable information
  • alternative methods
  • equally effective
  • product safety
  • ethical concerns
  • cruel
  • inhumane
  • technologies
  • advancements
  • research
  • reduce
  • replace
  • regulations
  • guidelines
  • ethical treatment
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