Some people claim that the media has a negative influence on contemporary society. They think that there is very little tolerance for new ideas because of its impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As the
media
has exerted a significant influence on our modern life, several people have voiced that the
media
has diverted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society towards uniformity.
However
, I strongly believe that the
media
plays a pivotal role in making our society
equip
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equipped
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with
deep
Correct article usage
a deep
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understanding
about
Change preposition
of
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different cultures and creative thinking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Firstly
, since the
media
has been deeply instilled in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, we can develop the skill to embrace and understand different cultures. In today’s
interconnectecd
Correct your spelling
interconnected
world, it
became
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has become
show examples
far more easier to access a diversity of foreign programs including movies, series and documentaries.
According to
a
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apply
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research, Korean teenagers who are growing up watching international documents and television programs have a higher degree of embracing different cultures compared to children 20 years ago.
This
example clearly reveals that we naturally experience the exotic culture, which leads to
be
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being
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exposed to a tolerance of diversity by watching these kinds of
media
.
In addition
,
media
makes people create
items
expend
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expended
show examples
upon
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on
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original objects.
This
means that the
media
stimulate
Correct subject-verb agreement
stimulates
show examples
our creative thinking skills.
For example
, the
media
put a
sliced-cake
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sliced cake
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sold in
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a convenient
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convenient
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convenience
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store on the map and
this
product collaborated with an animation.
Thus
, it released new
items
packed with stickers of characters of
this
animation.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that the
media
enable
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enables
show examples
people to create great
items
.
To sum up
, the
media
does good to our society by allowing us to understand the differences and generate astonishing
items
continuously.
Submitted by jb22809467 on

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task achievement
Incorporate a counterargument for a more balanced view, even if you ultimately refute it.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Include more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enrich your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
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task achievement
The essay effectively answers the prompt and stays focused on the topic.

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