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Band 1.5

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
Civilians residing in the 21st century have a
rater
Correct your spelling
greater
show examples
 quality of
life
 than people who lived in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 past.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 individuals from
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 have many features
such
 as
safety
 and comfortability in their lives.
Firstly
 civilians living in the 21st century may consider
comfortability
Correct article usage
the comfortability
show examples
 of their lives but individuals from
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 brag about it . Modern times have many features for a comfortable
life
such
 as comfortability of travelling which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
life
 easier for civilians.
Secondly
 in the present men
have
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
 think about their own
safety
 because
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
,
policie
Correct your spelling
police
policies
,
ambulance
Fix the agreement mistake
ambulances
show examples
 and other
safety
 services keep to preserve
safety
 in peaceful countries,
also
 laws are keeping
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
 of people and countries. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
life
 in the present is more comfortable and
safier
Correct your spelling
safer
 than past.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each argument to provide a balanced discussion. Your points on comfort and safety are good, but offering more specific examples and comparisons could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to improve readability and coherence. Linking phrases and cohesive devices would help in transitioning between ideas more smoothly.
general english
Be careful with minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'policie,' 'safier,' 'cant,' and 'to preserve.' These can be distracting and affect the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Consider adding a counter-argument to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic. This can provide a deeper insight into the complexities of the issue and add weight to your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points regarding comfort and safety are relevant and directly address the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Economic growth
  • Social changes
  • Global connectivity
  • Standard of living
  • Life expectancy
  • Gender equality
  • Legal rights
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Access to information
  • Environmental concerns
  • Sustainable development
  • Stress levels
  • Quality of life
  • Medical progress
  • Job opportunities
  • Income disparity
  • Life satisfaction
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