IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefit us. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #people #countries #benefit
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It is said that in recent days,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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 generation
benifit
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benefit
benefits
 the
nations
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nation
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 more than the elderly. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it provides
in
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for
show examples
Correct article usage
the develompent
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develompent
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development
 of the
country
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as well as
Linking Words
 leads to the
economical
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economic
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 growth of the
country
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. An excess amount of
younger
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the younger
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population
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 in comparison with
elderly
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the elderly
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 provides the nation with more working force.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they adapt to
latest
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the latest
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 technologies and master them much quicker than the old generation. They often tend to do various experiments which result in greater innovations and
eventually
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eventually,
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it
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apply
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leads
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lead
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 the way to the development of the
country
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a
well known
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well-known
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 developed
country
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, namely, Switzerland has more younger generation and they claimed that
this
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perticular
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particular
 reason
effected
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affected
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its'
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its
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 growth.
Lesser
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A smaller
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 number of elderly
population
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 means
lesser
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fewer
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invesments
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investments
investment
on
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for
show examples
 them. It is necessary to provide care for the elderly. It could be by building more care
centers
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centres
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 or specialized hospitals or even by assisting them with
care givers
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caregivers
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.
Therefore
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, governments need to spend and focus on these facilities and
this
Linking Words
avoids
Verb problem
prevents
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 them from addressing
on
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apply
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major issues.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Austrailia
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Australia
 is now
struglling
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struggling
 to cope with the increased number of elderly
population
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eventhough
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even though
, they have already spent much on developing facilities for the elderly. In conclusion,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 younger
population
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 in a
country
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 can
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 the citizens. I completely agree with it as it aids in
development
Add an article
the development
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 of the
country
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 and it
also
Linking Words
 leads to the
economical
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economic
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 growth of the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on

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To further improve the essay's coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly stated in the topic sentence.
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the argument effectively.
complete response
The essay addresses the task fully, presenting a clear opinion that is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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