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Band 4

Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefit us. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #people #countries #benefit
It is said that in recent days,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
 the
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
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 more than the elderly. I completely agree with
this
 statement because it provides
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the develompent
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develompent
Correct your spelling
development
 of the
country
as well as
 leads to the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth of the
country
. An excess amount of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
population
 in comparison with
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 provides the nation with more working force.
Moreover
, they adapt to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technologies and master them much quicker than the old generation. They often tend to do various experiments which result in greater innovations and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 the way to the development of the
country
.
For example
, a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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 developed
country
, namely, Switzerland has more younger generation and they claimed that
this
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 reason
effected
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affected
show examples
its'
Change noun form
its
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 growth.
Lesser
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A smaller
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 number of elderly
population
 means
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
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invesments
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investments
investment
on
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for
show examples
 them. It is necessary to provide care for the elderly. It could be by building more care
centers
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centres
show examples
 or specialized hospitals or even by assisting them with
care givers
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caregivers
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.
Therefore
, governments need to spend and focus on these facilities and
this
avoids
Verb problem
prevents
show examples
 them from addressing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
major issues.
For instance
,
Austrailia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 is now
struglling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 to cope with the increased number of elderly
population
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
, they have already spent much on developing facilities for the elderly. In conclusion,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 younger
population
 in a
country
 can
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 the citizens. I completely agree with it as it aids in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the
country
 and it
also
 leads to the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth of the
country
.
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on

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Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the argument effectively.
complete response
The essay addresses the task fully, presenting a clear opinion that is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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