Full-time university students spend most of their time in class or working on assignments. However, some people think that it is important for students to get involved in non-academic activities on campus as well (for example, to join a sports team or take part in drama). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #class #assignments #people #activities #campus #sports #team #part #drama

this

era, the

student

in the

university

was spent more time to finish their assignment from lecture and attend the

class

, but several non-academic

activity

or extracurricular outside the

class

is imperative one. I am very agree with

this

statement because non-academic

activity

can increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leadership

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and networking.

First,

extracurricular or several non-academic activities can increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leadership

skill

because the

skill

is the most imperative

skill

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

needed

Add a missing verb

is needed

show examples

Add an article

the student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

in the all of

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

show examples

For example

, several students in

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

of Muhammadiyah Malang who

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

followed the sports club and debate club

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

have

good

Correct word choice

better

show examples

leadership

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

decision maker

Correct your spelling

decision-makers

show examples

than

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

who

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

is just focus

Change the verb form

is just focused

is just focusing

show examples

to finish

Change preposition

on finishing

show examples

the

class

activity

focus in

Verb problem

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

because most of them have more responsibility in the outside of academic task.

Secondly

, studying

Change preposition

show examples

the

university

with another

activity

such

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

non-academic

class

will

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the

student

’s networking because

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

have more interaction with

another

Fix the agreement mistake

other students

show examples

student

and have

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

with

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

mission.

Change preposition

Similarly

show examples

similarly

, the

student

who

active

Add a missing verb

is active

show examples

extracurricular

Add an article

the extracurricular

an extracurricular

show examples

mix

with

Change preposition

while

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

working on

assignment

Fix the agreement mistake

assignments

show examples

from

lecturer

Add an article

the lecturer

a lecturer

show examples

class

will know more people.

For instance

, students from

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

of Indonesia

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

joined the drama club and Model United Nation have more relations with

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

not only from the same

university

but

also

Change preposition

from another

show examples

another

Fix the agreement mistake

other universities

show examples

university

. In conclusion, I

am totally agree

Change the verb form

totally agree

show examples

that non-academic activities are very vital for

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

such

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leadership

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and networking

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outside of

class

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Wed Jul 10 2024

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task achievement

While you have provided a complete response, try to offer more comprehensive ideas and delve deeper into each point. Make sure to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and support your main points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure but can benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Work on connecting your main points more effectively to create a more logical flow. Ensure your introduction and conclusion succinctly summarize your main arguments and position.

language and vocabulary

There are a number of grammatical and spelling errors that detract from the clarity of your ideas. Work on sentence structure and verb tense consistency. Additionally, aim to use more varied vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.

task achievement

You’ve successfully addressed the topic and taken a clear stance on the issue. Your organizational approach is straightforward, making your opinion clear.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph addresses a specific point that supports your overall argument, showing a good attempt at developing ideas coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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