The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian coountries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian coountries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
The line graph illustrates the proportion of the population, of four different nations, that lived in
cities
, from 1970 to 2020, and
also
makes the future predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, since 1970, except
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
for all the other three countries, the number of people in urban areas has been growing steadily, and it’s predicted that
this
trend
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
continue in the future. On closer examination, of the diagram we observe that, in 1970 just above 10% of the total population of Indonesia and Thailand were staying in
cities
,
however
for Malaysia and the
Philippines
this
figure was close to 30%. The number of individuals,
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
and Indonesia, residing in urban areas grew at the almost same rates.
However
, until 1990 the percentage of the nationals who were from
cities
was on
upsurge
Add an article
the upsurge
an upsurge
show examples
, after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
there was
drop
Add an article
a drop
the drop
show examples
in
this
value, in 2010, by almost 5%. Contrastingly, an opposite trend was seen in,
therefore
at the end
of
2022
Add a comma
2022,
show examples
nearly half of the nation was in
cities
. By 2040, it's assumed that in the
Philippines
less than one-fifth of the public would be from villages or rural areas, in the case of the other 3 nations
this
figure would range from 40% to 60%.
Submitted by yashaswikhot on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, philippines with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • population
  • percentage
  • trend
  • growth
  • stagnation
  • prediction
  • projection
  • rapid
  • gradual
  • significant
  • factors
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