Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children, or none at all. Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
modem
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modern
show examples
era parents, especially in rich
oountries
Correct your spelling
countries
, limit their
children
or do not have
due to
delay
Wrong verb form
delayed
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marriages
and
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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. I think
this
is a negative phenomenon and
this
leads
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will lead
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to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
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of mankind
to
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apply
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in the
future
.
This
essay discusses it
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in detaily
show examples
detaily
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detail
for the following reasons. To commence with, in
this
fast-paced world, people are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more busy in their
professionals
Fix the agreement mistake
professional
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and personal
life
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lives
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, so they do not have more interest
to marry
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in marrying
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when they are in below thirties.
This
means that time they earn as much as possible for their
future
sake,
consequently
,
delay
Wrong verb form
delayed
show examples
marriages
lead to not
Wade
Add a missing verb
having Wade
show examples
conceive of women and they will not have
children
at all.
Additionally
, busy
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
and
considered
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considering
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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living expenses some parents
enforce to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
limit their
child birth
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
.
For example
,
according to
the
Correct your spelling
survey
survay
Correct your spelling
survey
said that about the UK, the
population
has diminished drastically as
Correct your spelling
compared
in compared
incompared
Correct your spelling
compared
to their history
the
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in the
show examples
last
decade
due to
their citizens
are
Verb problem
apply
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not
taking
Verb problem
getting
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marriage
Replace the word
married
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and
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
child birth
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childbirth
show examples
seriously.
Hence
, these are the causes that stimulate to bring
this
devastation
Replace the word
devastating
show examples
situation
in the developed nations. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
It
is
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has
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a
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apply
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detrimental effects
to
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on
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Society
because
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apply
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in the
future
the
population
ratio will be terrific level,
thus
, it would
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
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our
earth
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earth's
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function and
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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would be diminished.
This
means
this
adverse
Situation
leads to
mankind
Change noun form
mankind's
show examples
extinction in the upcoming years.
For instance
,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Finland
survay
Correct your spelling
survey
said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
in 2050 their
population
would be decreased by 25% as compared to now because of the limited
children
Correct quantifier usage
number of children
show examples
and late
marriages
. Hereby, indeed
this
is a negative breakthrough
of
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apply
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situation
we have to address
it
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apply
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with
a
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apply
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proper action. In conclusion, humankind
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be
extinction
Replace the word
extinct
show examples
in the
future
because of
busy
Add an article
a busy
the busy
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and late
marriages
that can lead to
bring
Change the verb form
bringing
show examples
no
children
and limited
child birth
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
.
This
is a negative phenomenon
this
affect certainly the workforce
along with
the
population
ratio.
Therefore
,
this
situation
should be considered as a serious problem and find out proper action towards it.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Task Response
While the essay addresses the topic and provides a rationale, it needs clearer organization. Try to outline your essay before writing to ensure a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and include supporting details that are well-explained.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'this leads to extinction of mankind to in the future' should be 'this could lead to the extinction of mankind in the future.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied and appropriate vocabulary words to express your ideas clearly. Consistent and clear use of linking words and phrases such as 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'for instance' would improve readability.
Task Achievement
The essay attempts to address both parts of the task by identifying causes and evaluating the trend.
Task Achievement
Efforts have been made to include relevant examples from experience or general knowledge, such as the UK survey.
Coherence and Cohesion
There's a clear attempt to have an introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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