IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better ways to show that we care about them.discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, many people like to receive plenty of
gifts
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 from
others
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wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 known person or unknown. person to around the world. Some people think that
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
gifts
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 are considered as more
curcial
Correct your spelling
crucial
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 showing their
affection
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 and
love
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 to
others
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while
Linking Words
others
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 say that there are several best methods to
show
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 our
care
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 and
love
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 to them.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses both viewpoints for the following reasons. On the one hand, presents and
gifts
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 are considered as
care
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, when persons receive any
gifts
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 from anyone,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 they have more
care
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 and
love
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me, that's why They give it to me.
This
Linking Words
expose
Change the verb form
exposes
show examples
 and
express
Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
show examples
 our
affection
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 to
others
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 by giving any
gifts
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.
For example
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,
new
Change the word
newly
show examples
 married couples usually receive a lot of presents from their
friends
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 and family
members
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 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they bless and
care
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 by giving
gifts
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 to couples. To be more precise, the population
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 receive from all, they only get from their close buddies who
care
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.
Hence
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,
gifts
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 lead to
show
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care
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 and
affection
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, giving presents to
others
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 is not
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
 way to express our
care
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 to
others
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,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
there are other ways
also
Linking Words
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
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 better
refult
Correct your spelling
result
results
,
such
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 as spending
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
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 with their loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 and
talk
Wrong verb form
talking
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 freely with their family
members
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, that leads to
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show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
care
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 to
others
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. In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, individuals
her
Correct your spelling
here
show examples
 have neither spare
time
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 nor interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spending
time
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 with families.
For instance
Linking Words
, mankind who
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 underprivileged always be happy because they do not provide any
gifts
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 to their family
members
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 and
friends
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, but they always be with them in good and bad situations. Henceforth, spending
time
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 with their family
members
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 is the best way to
show
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care
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 to
others
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. than giving
gifts
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. In conclusion,
although
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 giving presents to
others
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enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
. they have more
care
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 towards
receiving
Correct article usage
the receiving
show examples
 person because it expresses their
love
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 and
affection
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, spending a quality of
time
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 with their family
members
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 and
friends
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 can
show
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 more
care
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 towards
others
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.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, about
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
spending
Add a comma
spending,
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 with their family
members
Use synonyms
 and
friends
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best method to express our case to
others
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should be structured more clearly. Break down your ideas into distinct paragraphs such as an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Try to provide stronger supporting examples that are highly relevant and elaborate on your points with more detail.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and a lack of clarity in certain sentences. Be mindful of proper punctuation and sentence construction. This will help your reader understand your arguments better.
task achievement
Your essay successfully discusses both viewpoints, which is essential for addressing the task.
task achievement
You provide clear reasons why both giving gifts and spending quality time can show care and affection.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tangible symbols
  • Affection
  • Materialism
  • Cultural traditions
  • Impact
  • Relationships
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Communication
  • Shared experiences
  • Equating
  • Emotional presence
  • Physical presence
  • Material possessions
What to do next:
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