An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?
One
of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that some people
use cosmetic
to change their Fix the agreement mistake
cosmetics
appearance
. Now people
beggining
to realize that it would be Correct your spelling
beginning
easley to
to do with medical Correct word choice
easy
procedures
. Personally, I tend to think that using cosmetics
or medical procedures
to alter one
's appearance
is a personal choice. Some view it as a way to boost self-esteem or correct imperfections, while
others may have concerns about potential risks or ethical implications. Ultimately, it's important for individuals to feel comfortable and confident in their own skin, regardless of the path they choose.
Firstly
, it is well known that cosmetics
can to
impact Change the verb form
apply
on
the health and medical care of the Change preposition
apply
people
who are in the process. What I mean here is that some people
have
may be allergic to some additives. Unnecessary verb
apply
One
of the main reasons behind that is
it can be inherited by DNA and will have the same appearance
of
the parent before plastic surgery.
Change preposition
as
On the other hand
, it can also
be argued that medical procedures
pose greater risks compared to using cosmetics
. Surgeries involve anesthesia
and potential complications, which might discourage Change the spelling
anaesthesia
people
. Also
, surgical changes are permanent, unlike cosmetics
, which allow for temporary adjustments. So, individuals should carefully consider these factors when deciding how to alter their appearance
.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our analysis we can say that, it's clear that the choice between using cosmetics
and opting for medical procedures
to change one
's appearance
is deeply personal. While
cosmetic
offer Fix the agreement mistake
cosmetics
flexibiity
and fewer risks, medical Correct your spelling
flexibility
procedures
provide more permanent results with potential health considerations. Ultimately, individuals should make decisions based on their own.Submitted by dnm.best on
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grammar vocabulary
There are a few grammar and vocabulary errors. For instance, 'beggining' should be 'beginning' and 'easley' should be 'easily'. Proofreading your essay can help reduce these mistakes.
task achievement
Some ideas are not fully developed or supported with specific examples. For instance, discussing the influence of media on cosmetic surgery trends or citing statistical data would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay can benefit from better organization. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Mentioning personal choice is good, but you could further elaborate on societal pressure or cultural factors influencing the decision to undergo cosmetic surgery.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The expression of personal opinion adds a thoughtful touch to the essay.
task achievement
The topic is addressed with relevant arguments on both sides.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.