IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

people living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries

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Today people’s
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
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 has improved in many ways compared to the past centuries. The new era of technology has certainly brought different initiatives taken by the government to improve people’s standards of living.
While
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 it is undeniable that society enjoys benefits that were unimaginable in the past centuries, the
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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 of whether modern
human’s
Change noun form
human
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life
Use synonyms
surpass
Change the verb form
surpasses
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out
Correct your spelling
our
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 ancestors is up for debate. I firmly advocate
with
Change preposition
apply
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the statement and
this
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 essay will explore the extent to which the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 has improved.
To begin
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 with, technological advancements have revolutionized many aspects of
life
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, leading to more comfort and convenience.
For instance
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, the advent of smartphones has not only simplified the terms of staying in touch
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 reduced the feeling of being isolated compared to the past. With only a few touches on screens, people can effortlessly connect with their friends or loved ones across the entire globe.
This
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 level of connection was unimaginable only a few decades ago allowing a new generation to build stronger relationships. The healthcare concept has
also
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 played a crucial part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enhancing the
quality
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 of
life
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 in the 21st century by extending
life
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 expectancy. Global medical breakthroughs and new advanced technology have improved humanity’s
overall
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 well-being. Today, many people have access to superior healthcare facilities and treatments.
Moreover
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, growing awareness of health issues has led to the widespread adoption of necessary measures worldwide.
For example
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, there have been several epidemics throughout history,
such
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 as cholera,
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
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 flu and other diseases,
which
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in which
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 the fatality rate was high.
However
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,
due to
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 new medical advancements, these diseases have been exterminated from the planet. Recent events, like
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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 COVID-19, have proved that the world is better prepared to handle pandemic situations with efficiency by developing vaccines. In conclusion, the 21st century has witnessed a better
life
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quality
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 compared to past centuries. Digitalization has brought people together by stimulating connection,
while
Linking Words
 advancements in medical care have dramatically altered in many ways.

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task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses the task and provides relevant examples, aiming for a more balanced view can strengthen the argument. Consider exploring some counterarguments to present a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be fine-tuned to provide a more decisive restatement of the main points. A strong and clear conclusion reiterates the essay's main stance and emphasizes the key arguments discussed.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay. Proofreading your essay to eliminate these mistakes will reflect a better command of the language. For instance, revising sentences like 'leading to the widespread adoption of necessary measures worldwide' for better fluency.
task achievement
The introduction is effective, outlining the topic and providing a clear thesis statement which sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The essay stays on topic throughout and adequately addresses the task with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow from one point to another is generally smooth, making the essay easy to read and understand. Each paragraph transitions nicely to the next with clear connections between ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Economic growth
  • Social changes
  • Global connectivity
  • Standard of living
  • Life expectancy
  • Gender equality
  • Legal rights
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Access to information
  • Environmental concerns
  • Sustainable development
  • Stress levels
  • Quality of life
  • Medical progress
  • Job opportunities
  • Income disparity
  • Life satisfaction
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