people living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries
Today people’s
quality
of life
has improved in many ways compared to the past centuries. The new era of technology has certainly brought different initiatives taken by the government to improve people’s standards of living. While
it is undeniable that society enjoys benefits that were unimaginable in the past centuries, the issues
of whether modern Fix the agreement mistake
issue
human’s
Change noun form
human
life
surpass
Change the verb form
surpasses
out
ancestors is up for debate. I firmly advocate Correct your spelling
our
with
the statement and Change preposition
apply
this
essay will explore the extent to which the quality
of life
has improved.
To begin
with, technological advancements have revolutionized many aspects of life
, leading to more comfort and convenience. For instance
, the advent of smartphones has not only simplified the terms of staying in touch,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
reduced the feeling of being isolated compared to the past. With only a few touches on screens, people can effortlessly connect with their friends or loved ones across the entire globe. This
level of connection was unimaginable only a few decades ago allowing a new generation to build stronger relationships.
The healthcare concept has also
played a crucial part in the
enhancing the Correct article usage
apply
quality
of life
in the 21st century by extending life
expectancy. Global medical breakthroughs and new advanced technology have improved humanity’s overall
well-being. Today, many people have access to superior healthcare facilities and treatments. Moreover
, growing awareness of health issues has led to the widespread adoption of necessary measures worldwide. For example
, there have been several epidemics throughout history, such
as cholera, spanish
flu and other diseases, Change the capitalization
Spanish
which
the fatality rate was high. Change preposition
in which
However
, due to
new medical advancements, these diseases have been exterminated from the planet. Recent events, like pandemic
COVID-19, have proved that the world is better prepared to handle pandemic situations with efficiency by developing vaccines.
In conclusion, the 21st century has witnessed a better Correct article usage
the pandemic
life
quality
compared to past centuries. Digitalization has brought people together by stimulating connection, while
advancements in medical care have dramatically altered in many ways.Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses the task and provides relevant examples, aiming for a more balanced view can strengthen the argument. Consider exploring some counterarguments to present a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be fine-tuned to provide a more decisive restatement of the main points. A strong and clear conclusion reiterates the essay's main stance and emphasizes the key arguments discussed.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay. Proofreading your essay to eliminate these mistakes will reflect a better command of the language. For instance, revising sentences like 'leading to the widespread adoption of necessary measures worldwide' for better fluency.
task achievement
The introduction is effective, outlining the topic and providing a clear thesis statement which sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The essay stays on topic throughout and adequately addresses the task with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow from one point to another is generally smooth, making the essay easy to read and understand. Each paragraph transitions nicely to the next with clear connections between ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!