In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In the 20th century, the world witnessed a groundbreaking surge in globalization
due to
rapid
development of air travel and telecommunications. Correct article usage
the rapid
This
will raised
some questions regarding Change the verb form
raise
to
the Remove the preposition
apply
upside
and Fix the agreement mistake
upsides
downside
of those advancements. Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
This
article will discuss on
the impact of both sides to provide more Change preposition
apply
point
of view and Fix the agreement mistake
points
seeing
it in holistic ways.
Wrong verb form
see
Generaly
, the advantages of rapid enhancement Correct your spelling
Generally
on
air travel and telecommunications have several impacts Change preposition
in
in
various aspects of our lives. First of all, it has increased Change preposition
on
the
collaboration around the globe and created new possibilities in a positive way. Correct article usage
apply
Company
can collaborate in cross-nation, advancing their products and Fix the agreement mistake
Companies
manufacture
their products Wrong verb form
manufacturing
with
cheap Change preposition
at
price
. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
For example
, Apple has their
manufacturer of their products in China. The implication is not only Change the word
a
they
have Add a missing verb
do they
a
best price and Change the article
the
increasing
their margin but Wrong verb form
increase
also
they can distribute faster accross
Asia contingent. Correct your spelling
across
As a result
, Apple can increase their margin for each product that produced
from China.
On the other side, it is Add a missing verb
is produced
importance
to notice the challenges coming from Replace the word
important
this
increased global connection. One notable example is Correct article usage
the environment
environment
impact Replace the word
environmental
due to
the carbon Change preposition
apply
emission
coming from Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
the
air travel. Specifically, Frequent use of Correct article usage
apply
airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
that
can produce more carbon dioxide. In a recent study, the use of Correct pronoun usage
apply
airplane
during 1960-2022 can create lots of carbon and increase the degree by 1 Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
on
every 30 years. Change preposition
apply
Nevertheless
, The
industries should find lots of Correct article usage
apply
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
such
as using renewable energy to lower the impacts.
In conclusion, engaging in the subject matter, the
economic growth and good Correct article usage
apply
oppportunities
have Correct your spelling
opportunities
Correct article usage
a siginificant
siginificant
impact on Correct your spelling
significant
environment
. Add an article
the environment
Therfore
, I believe that the advantages of Correct your spelling
Therefore
this
global contact do outweight
the Correct your spelling
outweigh
disadvanges
, to the fact that we actively work on risk mitigating and ensuring more sustainable Correct your spelling
disadvantages
decision
for the generations to come.Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
Submitted by alyalihan28 on
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clarity
Work on sentence structure to improve clarity and readability. For example, the sentence, 'This will raised some questions regarding to the upside and downside of those advancements' could be revised to 'This has raised some questions regarding the advantages and disadvantages of these advancements.'
relevance
Avoid repetition of ideas. For example, the idea about Apple increasing their margin is repeated in the same paragraph. Instead, focus on new examples or points to make the essay more compelling.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. Words like 'generaly' should be 'generally,' and 'siginificant' should be 'significant.'
depth
Expand on the negative impacts and provide additional examples or evidence to balance the discussion.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
support
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the case of Apple manufacturing in China.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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