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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some of the local languages are becoming extinct. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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It is widely believed that native languages are phasing out.
This
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 will encourage civilization but will mere the significance of people’s
culture
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of losing local dialects. To start with,
gradual
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the gradual
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 loss of local languages enables a nation to embrace
global
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a global
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culture
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 which in turn fosters civilization. Recent research has shown that rapid development, industrialization, and globalization are evident in countries that are free to accept other peoples’ ways which of course includes
language
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.
For instance
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, some African countries like Ghana, Nigeria
e.t.c
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etc
. adopted English
language
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 as an official
language
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 whilst countries like Cameroon, Congo and others not mentioned, embraced in French
language
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, resulting in remarkable industrial development and well-established world cooperation.
However
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, it is imperative to consider the drawbacks associated with the extinction of a
language
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. Native
language
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 is one factor for defining
culture
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hence
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 crucial in both individual and group identification.
Therefore
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, a phased-out
language
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 can imply an obscured
culture
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, which invariably means a lost identity.
For example
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, there are three major ethnic groups in Nigeria which are Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba and the people speak Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba
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language
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languages
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 respectively. The population identify their origins based on the varying dialects. In conclusion, as local languages are at risk of extinction,
this
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 can benefit a country’s civilization process,
however
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, some people might lose the key to their ancestral identity.
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task achievement
Consider elaborating on specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, while mentioning the impact of adopting English or French in African countries, you can provide more detailed instances of how this has influenced their industrial development and world cooperation.
coherence cohesion
The transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. Consider using linking phrases or sentences to guide the reader more seamlessly from one part of the argument to the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Try to incorporate complex sentences and different beginnings to avoid repetition and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up the discussion for both advantages and disadvantages, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples that add value to the arguments, particularly the mention of African countries adopting English or French languages.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the significance of the argument, giving the essay a coherent closing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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