The bar chart show the proportion of employees in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010

The bar chart show the proportion of employees in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010
The bar chart
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
the proportion of employees in three sectors across four
countries
in 1980 and 2010
Overall
, it can be seen that the percentage of
workers
in all
countries
in
agriculture
and
services
slightly decreased
while
industry
in all
countries
generally increased except for
China
. In 1980,
agriculture
reached the highest of employed in
China
. Until 2010, the percentage of
workers
in
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
in Germany ,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
and Japan significantly increased. In 1980, the workforce
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
industry
in Germany accounted for 60%,
while
agriculture
and
services
accounted for 5% and 50% respectively.
Similarly
, the proportion of
workers
in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
was similar to Japan, with
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of
workers
in
industry
and
services
and
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
of
workers
in
agriculture
.
Conversely
,
China
had a large majority of
workforce
Correct pronoun usage
its workforce
show examples
in
agriculture
, at 70%,
while
industry
and
services
accounted for 40% and 50% respectively. In 2010, there was a significant increase in
industry
in Germany ,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, and Japan, ranging from 70% to 80%,
while
China
’s
industry
was stable , at 40%.
Moreover
, there was a dramatic decrease in
agriculture
in
China
, from 70% to 50%
while
other
countries
had a small drop , ranging from 1% to 3%.
Similarly
, the workforce of
China
was
Verb problem
showed
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
drop in
services
, from 50% to 20% , compared to a less noticeable drop of 10% in other
countries
.
Submitted by weezel on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly, while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, workers, agriculture, services, industry, china with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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