It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is commonly believed that taking
risks
has a vital role, both career and
family wise
Add a hyphen
family-wise
show examples
. There are benefits and drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
risk-taking, but I firmly believe that
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
aspects outweigh the negative aspects.  One evident advantage of taking calculated
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life improvement.
In other words
, someone who wants to broaden their horizon and escape from their comfort zone should be able to make risky decisions in order to have a result.
For instance
, the richest businessmen, who made everything on their own, were supposed to defeat their fears and take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
even if they were not 100% sure about the result.
Thus
,
taking
Correct your spelling
making
show examples
risky choices
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them not just improve financially to support their families, but
also
psychologically in order to become stronger.
On the other hand
, there are
obviously
Change the adverb
obvious
show examples
disadvantages to taking
risks
,
such
as the possibility of failure and the associated consequences. There are moments when people can not find the best answers to some questions
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
how to make it better.
For example
, a business owner who takes a risk by investing all their savings in a new venture may lose everything if the venture fails.
Similarly
, an individual who takes a risk by quitting their job to pursue their passion may face financial hardship and uncertainty. In conclusion,
while
taking
risks
can be both advantageous and disadvantageous, I believe that the benefits of taking
risks
outweigh the drawbacks. Without taking
risks
, people may become complacent, stagnant, and unable to reach their full potential.
Submitted by capibara11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay does cover the topic adequately, it is important to dig deeper into ideas to make them more comprehensive. For example, you could explore additional advantages of taking risks, or elaborate on the provided examples.
task achievement
To enhance clarity and comprehensiveness, consider adding more specific and diverse examples. This makes the argument more robust and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Work on adding transitional words and phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will help maintain the reader's engagement and make the essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are concise and clear, providing a solid framework for your argument.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific point related to the topic.
supported main points
There is an attempt to provide relevant examples, which helps to illustrate the points made.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: