IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are some groups of individuals who
contends
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contend
show examples
 that
students
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 in tertiary education should only be allowed to learn
science
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 and
technology
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 as it would benefit the nation,
however
Linking Words
, there are opposing
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 saying that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should be allowed to pursue any
studies
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 they like as it will contribute to
diversity
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the diversity
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 of
society
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. On the one hand, there are various reasons for universities to
offers
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offer
show examples
 courses that will
useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
show examples
 in the
future
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. In my perspective, courses
such
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 as medicine, engineering and information
technology
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provides
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provide
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 job opportunities, career progress, better
salary
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salaries
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 and an improvement
of
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in
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quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of life of the
students
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 in the
future
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.
Besides
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, by forcing people to choose
studies
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 related to
science
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 and
technology
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,
government
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the government
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 can ensure that skills and knowledge gaps in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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 can be covered.
Finally
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,
by
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apply
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focusing
students
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into
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on
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such
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 courses,
it
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apply
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would contribute to
the
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apply
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economy
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economic
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 growth, new
invention
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inventions
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, and greater
future
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 prosperity.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion,
students
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 should have the
freewill
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free will
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 to pursue any area of
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studies
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study
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 they want.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
show examples
 it will benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 if
students
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 are passionate about their work.
Besides
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, one cannot be sure
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which area of
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studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be sought after in the
future
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. It could be that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employers are seeking for
creativity
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creative
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worker more
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workers
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than practical and technical skills.
Therefore
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, if
that is
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 the case, it might as well that
students
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 pursue art
studies
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such
Linking Words
 as art, history and philosophy than
of
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apply
show examples
science
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 and
technology
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, studying
science
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 and
technological
Replace the word
technology
show examples
 has its own
pro
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pros
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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I certainly believe that pursuing own passion will create
a
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apply
show examples
more diverse and
stress free
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stress-free
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 citizens and more happier
society
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.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence of your essay by ensuring that all ideas are logically connected, avoiding repetition, and enhancing clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in supporting your main points more effectively.
general
Address minor grammatical issues, such as subject-verb agreement and the use of appropriate articles. This will help improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main points and final stance.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the topic and provided your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some good ideas and logical structure that effectively present arguments for both perspectives.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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