Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both theses views and give your own opinion
Part of people believe that
parents
should teach their Use synonyms
children
to participate in Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
activities
, which involve multiple Use synonyms
children
and Use synonyms
others
think Use synonyms
children
should learn to enjoy their own company by getting Use synonyms
involve
in Change the form of the verb
involved
Linking Words
such
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
activities
that Use synonyms
just
include them only. Rephrase
only
However
, I firmly believe Linking Words
with
the idea of pushing Change preposition
in
children
to get into team Use synonyms
activities
because they would be able to make connections with Use synonyms
others
Use synonyms
as well as
get a chance to learn something unique from Linking Words
others
.
I feel Use synonyms
parents
should teach their Use synonyms
children
to take part in team Use synonyms
activities
because minors would have the opportunity to make new Use synonyms
friends
. Every Use synonyms
time
when they will participate, they will get a chance to get to know new Use synonyms
children
around them. As the Use synonyms
time
goes by, the friendship will grow even more deeper. Use synonyms
Therefore
, juveniles would be able to make new relations. Linking Words
Due to
these connections, minors can learn new Linking Words
skills
from Use synonyms
others
because every child is different. By grouping them together in Use synonyms
a group
Correct the article-noun agreement
group activities
a group activity
activities
, it is going to be so easier for juveniles to Use synonyms
adapt
new Correct your spelling
adopt
skills
from their Use synonyms
friends
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
enjoying.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some individuals think it is fineLinking Words
,
if Remove the comma
apply
parents
give Use synonyms
a
opportunity to Change the article
an
children
to utilize their free Use synonyms
tim
with themselves because Correct your spelling
time
this
would be really helpful to make them independent in life. By investing Linking Words
time
in themselves, they will have Use synonyms
time
to think about the things that Use synonyms
seems
fascinating to them and can grow the Change the verb form
seem
skills
in order to do them and polish that Use synonyms
skills
over Use synonyms
years
. Correct article usage
the years
For instance
, my younger brother used to draw all the Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
in
his Change preposition
during
play
Correct your spelling
playtime
time
when he was a child rather than playing with other Use synonyms
children
. But, he has grown that skill perfectly that he is a great sketch artist at the age of 16. All Use synonyms
this
was possible because he was so involved with himself Linking Words
instead
of playing around with Linking Words
others
. That sketching skill has made him independent in terms of happiness Use synonyms
as well as
money.
In conclusion, some find Linking Words
thenidea
of letting the Correct your spelling
the idea
children
alone to occupy themselves on Use synonyms
its
ownCorrect pronoun usage
their
,
so that they can Remove the comma
apply
because
independent. Correct your spelling
become
Nevertheless
, I strongly think that Linking Words
parents
should push Use synonyms
children
to involve Use synonyms
them
in Correct pronoun usage
themselves
Correct your spelling
teamwork
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
activities
Use synonyms
,
so that they can make their Remove the comma
apply
friends
circle, which would be beneficial for them in return because they can learn new skill Use synonyms
set
from their Fix the agreement mistake
sets
friends
Use synonyms
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task achievement
Ensure that you fully elaborate on both viewpoints, providing balanced discussions for each. This will demonstrate a comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more effectively. Make use of clear paragraphing and topic sentences to outline the structure of your essay more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Try to restate key points in the conclusion to reinforce the main ideas from the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and adequately reflect the main points of your essay.
task achievement
You have provided clear ideas and some relevant examples that help support your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example