Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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while
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some individuals think that
children
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must attend school at
young
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a young
show examples
age
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, Others believe that they need to grow
more
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apply
show examples
older before they go to school,
This
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essay will
discusses
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discuss
show examples
both perspectives and
way
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the way
show examples
I agree with sending
children
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when they are older. people who
thinks
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think
show examples
that sending
children
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when they are young agree that would
influance
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influence
their
lenguage
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language
levelopment
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development
, So they can reach their
milestons
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milestones
milestone
in
normal
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a normal
show examples
time
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with no speech problems,
For example
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,
children
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who
are send
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are sent
are sending
show examples
in
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at
show examples
young
age
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to
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the nursary
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nursary
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nursery
tend to become confident
speeker
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speaker
speakers
by the primary school
time
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as they used to
sinr
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sing
rhymes with teachers and talk with them.
Athough
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Although
,
This
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is what they
belive
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believe
show examples
. I disagree with them because speech
difficuilties
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difficulties
some
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sometimes
show examples
time
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has nothing to do with the environment
aound
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around
you.
However
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,The other group including me as well who strongly think
student
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students
show examples
should
be send
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be sent
show examples
in older
age
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. believe that
children
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in older
age
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are more aware
with
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of
show examples
the formal setting and they can follow
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the instruction
show examples
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
show examples
in
batter
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better
show examples
way because they are more mature and they know if
the
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they
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not listen to the instruction they may suffer
with
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from
show examples
consicunesses
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consciousnesses
that they
dont
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don't
like,
For instance
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,
student
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a student
show examples
in year 1 who are 6 years old use to be more
relaible
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reliable
during
luanch
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launch
lunch
time
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comparing to reception students because they can
be send
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be sent
show examples
to
time
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-out if they miss
behieve
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believe
behave
during the meal
time
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. In conclusion,I believe both views have merits , as people who agree with the
younge
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younger
young
age
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entrence
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entrance
see it as a chance for the younger to improve their speech by
engagging
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engaging
with others,
while
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me
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I
show examples
and the other group think it is better
allow
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to allow
show examples
the student reach
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age
Use synonyms
where they can follow instruction and act more
respactfully
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respectfully
.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a more robust structure. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. For example, separating the arguments clearly would help with clarity.
task achievement
The introduction should be clearer and more concise. Clearly state the topic and your standpoint. The phrasing is somewhat awkward, making it slightly confusing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure proper grammar and vocabulary usage throughout the essay. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors.
task achievement
Your essay offers relevant examples which strengthen your points, such as the example of nursery rhymes aiding language development.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both perspectives, which is a fundamental requirement of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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