some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe that governments should strictly control the use of freshwater as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction, Nowadays the amount of fresh
water
is decreasing day
by day
and a lot of people
waste f
resh water
in many ways. So that view of point government
should need to take some action on this
problem. On the other side my opinion is that governments should make rules on the waste of water
like, who wastes water
put a fine on them, and arrange some shows on the wastage of water
than people
can learn the real value of water
.
Firstly
, half the community think that they have the right to use
as much fresh water
as they want. This
statement is not completely right. people
should want to learn the value of Capitalize word
People
water
if they can use
good water
with much access then
they can not have too much fresh water
on earth. for example
, I learned in the newspaper it is scientifically approved that amount
of drinking Correct article usage
the amount
water
is not that much left on the earth. It happens because the wastage of water
increases day
by day
, So that's why people
need to learn they should only use
fresh water
whenever they need it.
Secondly
, I and the rest of the community believe that the government
should strictly use
freshwater as it is a limited resource. Moreover
, not only
the Correct word choice
apply
government
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
needalso
Correct your spelling
need also
need
to pay attention Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
regard
the waste of clean Add the particle
to regard
water
. For example
, if government
or our societies arrange some shows, dreams and they can make some ads on social media related to the wastage of Add an article
the government
a government
water
. It is a really very good way to make people
active and people
start to pay some attention to freshwater.Furthermore
, People
also
learn the role of water
in our lives.
In conclusion, My opinion is that not only governments but our societies also
need to contribute to this
problem to solve it. And in every city and town
Add a comma
town,
people
need to learn a lesson about the water
that
everybody can stop wasting fresh and they can stop others Correct word choice
so that
also
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coherence cohesion
Try to better organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph develops one clear point. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and supported with comprehensive explanations and examples. For instance, you can provide more specific examples and elaborate on how governments or individuals can take action.
language accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Consider revising your essay for errors in sentence structure and word usage.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and included your own opinion on the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is an introduction and a conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay raises valid points about the importance of water conservation and the role of both government and individuals.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?