IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

It’s time to ban social media. It has been shown that it has made life worse for people all over the world, from politics, to self-image, to the spread of disinformation. It is a social experiment that has not worked and it is time to say goodbye.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

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Introduction
It is a common belief that social
media
Use synonyms
exersts
Correct your spelling
exerts
exists
 a negative influence on individuals. I
also
Linking Words
 agree that many
people
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 should be
baned
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banned
show examples
to use
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from using
show examples
 social
media
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.
This
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because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 social
media
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 has many problems all over the world.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 are exposed to a huge negative
informations throught
Correct your spelling
information through
 social
media
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. Notable, children spend too much time on social
media
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 and see many violent videos or articles.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey has shown that violent videos
or
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apply
show examples
written
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
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such
Linking Words
 as
Instgram
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Instagram
,
Facebook
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and Facebook
show examples
accounts
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account
show examples
 for approximately 30
percentage
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per cent
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, some individuals suffer from serious
psychologies
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psychological
show examples
 problems
due to
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 social
media
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.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
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,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
most
people
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obesses
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possess
significantly
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significant
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 lives.
As a result
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, many
people
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 have diabetes.
According to
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psychologist
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psychologists
show examples
,
this
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 is why they cannot distinguish real life from social
media
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 life.
Conclusion
For
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example
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example,
show examples
 research has indicated that
this
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 reason that
patient
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patients
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 suffering from mental problems is increasing
remarkable
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remarkably
show examples
 compared to in the past
To sum up
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, social
media
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 can lead to a lot of damage to
people
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 and do harm to
aroud
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around
 the world.
these
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For these
show examples
 reasons ,
i
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I
show examples
 firmly believe that governments should ban social
media
Use synonyms
 from individuals.

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coherence cohesion
Aim for clear topic sentences that define the paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas to provide a more comprehensive response to the essay topic.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to improve readability and sophistication of the essay.
task achievement
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve vocabulary usage.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue of social media.
task achievement
The writer gives relevant examples, such as statistics about violent content on social media.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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