In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #people #crime #education #criminals

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The governments

Correct article usage

Governments

show examples

in the world try to find

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various ways

for preventing

Change preposition

to prevent

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

, and

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the opinions is making sure pre-criminals

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education

Wrong verb form

are educated

show examples

when they are young.

However

Linking Words

, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

solution. Today, I explain why I think about

Correct pronoun usage

it like

show examples

that.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

biggiest

Correct your spelling

biggest

reason why

people

Use synonyms

commit a

crime

Use synonyms

is their personal environment like

perants

Correct your spelling

parents

plants

economy

Correct word choice

and economy

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, most usual criminals are

theif

Correct your spelling

thieves

. They

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

suffer from maintaining their

fundamantal

Correct your spelling

fundamental

life,

also

Linking Words

,there is no way

for working

Change preposition

to work

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

, if they get abuse from their parents,

young

Capitalize word

Young

show examples

people

Use synonyms

can not

behavior

Replace the word

behave

show examples

and think like their peers. In those situations, we can not control them through only better

education

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In addition

Linking Words

, there are

clarity

Replace the word

clear

show examples

reasons why criminals commit a

crime

Use synonyms

in the past.

In contrast

Linking Words

, recently, many

people

Use synonyms

harm

Wrong verb form

have harmed

show examples

others without a motive. They do illegal things just for their fun. To these

people

Use synonyms

, we need to provide treatment and counsel, not

education

Use synonyms

. The world is more developing,

Use synonyms

people's

Correct word choice

and people's

show examples

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

weaker than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation

Add a comma

situation,

show examples

modern

people

Use synonyms

can not understand each other, and commit a

crime

Use synonyms

easily. We try to plan

for preventing

Change preposition

to prevent

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

them from

show examples

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

criminals not only

for

Change preposition

show examples

receving

Correct your spelling

receiving

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

education

Use synonyms

Submitted by ekmds010822 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas and segments together logically.

coherence cohesion

Avoid abrupt pauses and incomplete thoughts. Ensure that each point you raise is thoroughly explained and supported with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

A stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance could enhance your essay. It’s important to leave your reader with a clear understanding of your position and the reasoning behind it.

task achievement

Clarify your main points and ensure they are comprehensively discussed. Avoid vague statements and provide specific examples where possible.

task achievement

Expanding on the reasons for your viewpoint with more depth can help in fully achieving the task. Incorporate more detailed examples to support your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt directly and offers a clear perspective. This is a solid foundation to build on.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets up the topic and your position clearly, giving the reader a good idea of what to expect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

198 words

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In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Explain why you want to take time off work Give details of the amount of time you need Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Some people think that interview is not reliable method of choosing whom to employ and there are other better methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?