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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Studying abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this in mind, it is more advantageous to study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

Studying abroad is an attractive opportunity for many
students
Use synonyms
 to realize their dreams. But
this
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 option has both negative and positive effects. Some people believe that
difficulties
Correct article usage
the difficulties
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 and
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students
Correct word choice
that students
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 should stay in their home country and
enroll
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enrol
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 in a local university. I rather disagree with
this
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 statement, we will discuss
this
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 social issue
further
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.
Firstly
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, we will consider positive arguments. First and foremost, the prestige of
university
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the university
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.
For example
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,
usually
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usually,
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 the best technical universities,
such
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 as MIT, Cambridge University, and MIPT,
situated
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are situated
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 in the USA,
the
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apply
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Great Britain, Germany, and the Russian Federation.
Therefore
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
granted
Verb problem
apply
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students
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 from few successful
in
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apply
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education countries need
an
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the
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 option to study abroad.
For instance
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, some master's programs in the USA and the UK are regarded to be the best in the
world
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.
Moreover
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,
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students
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students'
student's
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 years are a chance to travel around the
world
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, learn foreign languages, and create international acquaintances,
while
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students
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 aren't burdened by a job and a family.
Thus
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 it can foster
development
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the development
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 of adolescents, give
the
Correct article usage
a
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 more comprehensive view of the
world
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, and bring international job offers.
Secondly
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, we will consider negative arguments. If
student
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a student
the student
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 wants to relocate
in
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to
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 countries with his non-native language, he will have to learn one, it can be a very problematic process.
For example
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, often the preparation for IELTS lasts more
a
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than a
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year and a half for a band of about 8.
This
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 time can be spent in some other way, to improve academic performance or sports achievements.
Additionally
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, not all fashionable universities
gives
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give
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 out a lot of grants for foreign
students
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hence
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 it creates financial problems for low-income applicants
whereas
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 studying
at
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in
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 the homeland can be cheaper or fully free. In conclusion, every person should make a choice himself. I allude to my experience, I opine that I am a promising scientist and I am interested in some master's biotechnology programs in leading universities in the
world
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.
Also
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, I see career opportunities in other countries namely Israel and the USA. Studying abroad is the best variant in my case.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance, but it would benefit from more specific and clear examples and evidence to support your points thoroughly. Try to include facts, statistics, or real-life anecdotes to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The connections between ideas should be clear and logical to enhance overall coherence. Transition words and phrases can help in presenting a more fluid argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on dividing your text into more distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This could help improve both the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent essay.
task achievement
Your arguments are relevant to the prompt and cover both positive and negative aspects of studying abroad, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Good use of real-world examples, such as reference to prestigious universities like MIT and Cambridge, which add credibility to your essay.
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