IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #success #career #education
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Nowadays
enormous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people try to compete
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 successful in the future through their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 or
education
. There is a lot of discussion about the meaning of
success
 and it will be different among others. I believe to become a
success
are
Verb problem
I will
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getting
Wrong verb form
get
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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education
 level
and
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apply
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bring
positive
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a positive
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 impact and contribute to
the
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apply
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society.
To begin
 with,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of them believe
to become
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that becoming
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success
Replace the word
successful
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 in the
futures
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future
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 is always their
goals
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goal
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. The
goals
Add a verb
goals are
goals were
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 absolutely different for each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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 and
also
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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various
of
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apply
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purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 in their life
such
 as
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a doctor, business owner, or president.
For instance
, becoming a doctor is difficult because it is a long journey (almost 7 years) and the competition
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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this
 more challenging.
For business
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Business
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owner
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owners
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,
they
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apply
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might
be failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 many times and
also
 affect
to
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apply
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the
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apply
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both physical and emotional aspects.
However
, to overcome myriad problems they need to learn persistently and put in a concern
in
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on
show examples
 a daily basis
such
 as trying to connect alumni from the university and read more news
everyday
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every day
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 to get
a current information
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current information
a piece of current information
show examples
.
In addition
, the meaning of
the
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apply
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success
 for me is
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 the Director in
banking
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the banking
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 industry through higher
education
 and
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to contribute
of
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to
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 impact
to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Looking at the previous Director, the background
has
Verb problem
is
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 impressive and
also
 taking a top university
in
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apply
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global
Change the word
globally
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 has become the key reason. I
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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 a lot how
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 them, they not only focus on the business
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
 contribute to the other
such
 as
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a speaker in
global
Add an article
the global
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 financial sector and
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
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 to the empowerment community.
To conclude
, the meaning of
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 for each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
has
Verb problem
is
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 different
as well as
 depends on the
goals
. I believe
to get
Change preposition
that getting
show examples
 a higher
education
 and bringing more positive impact have always been my future
goals
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Some sentences are hard to understand due to minor grammatical issues.
cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to make the text flow more smoothly. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In contrast,' could help linkage.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate your points with more specific examples and detailed reasoning. While you provide examples, more specific instances would enrich your essay.
structure
You have included a clear introduction and a conclusion, which helps in framing the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses different interpretations of success, and you provide personal reflections on the idea of success.
What to do next:
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