Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe that governments should strictly control the use of freshwater as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is
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a debated
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debated
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debate
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among two parties
whereas
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whether
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the public or the
government
should be responsible
of
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for
show examples
fresh
water
as it is a limited resource on earth. If the public
have
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has
show examples
the power over the
fresh
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freshwater
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water
than
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then
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it will be a waste of
resource
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resources
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because of unawareness about how important it is for mankind. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the
governements
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governments
are the ones who should hold the right to
its
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it
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.
To begin
with, the public always
have
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has
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their
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the
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personal freedom to
use
fresh
water
as the
water
is significant to their daily life ,
for instance
,an individual needs to remain hydrated by consuming a lot of aqua or
maintained
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maintaining
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good hygiene by showering with clean
water
. As we can see, every household
have
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has
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their
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its
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own
water
supplies but not all countries
such
as third world class
has
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have
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such
supplies
due to
its
limitation
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limitations
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.
Therefore
,
this
is crucial for the role of the public to
use
the resources when it is only necessary .
On the other hand
, when it comes to the
government
, they should set
a
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apply
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strict
regulation
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regulations
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regarding the usage of
the
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apply
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fresh
water
in order to avoid
depletion
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the depletion
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of natural resources.
For example
, monitor the utilization of
water
to prevent exceeded daily
use
.
This
is because
of
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apply
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some people do not have
consciousness
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the consciousness
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to appreciate the natural assets that one day will be gone.
As a result
, the
government
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government's
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roles play a big part
to ensure
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in ensuring
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that
the
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apply
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future generations will
also
have access to fresh
water
. In conclusion,
while
consider
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considering
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the
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apply
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personal freedom is important, it is essential to balance it with some rules.
Therefore
, the
government
should play a role in controlling the usage of
the
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apply
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fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
for
the
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apply
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future children rather than
use
it as we
please
Add a comma
, please
show examples
.
Submitted by tifjong on

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion. However, there are instances where ideas could be expressed more clearly. For example, 'third world class' could be better phrased as 'developing countries' to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to verb agreement and article usage to enhance grammatical accuracy. Examples include 'debated' instead of 'debate,' and 'the public have' should be 'the public has.' Fixing small grammatical errors can make your essay more polished.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints, which shows a balanced discussion and fulfills the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping the reader understand your main argument and overall structure.
task achievement
You're able to convey your point of view effectively and provide adequate support for your stance with relevant examples. This demonstrates your ability to develop ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater
  • personal freedom
  • resources
  • daily necessities
  • environmental sustainability
  • depletion
  • regulation
  • distribution
  • underprivileged
  • future generations
  • conservative use
  • sustainable practices
  • monitoring
  • regulating
  • judiciously
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