Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important
Individuals believe that
exercise
is important for Use synonyms
immune
system, Add an article
the immune
while
others think that taking a Linking Words
diet
is more necessary to stay healthy. In Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
essay
we are going to discuss both views Add a comma
essay,
due to
the fact that Linking Words
exercise
is Use synonyms
a
key to Change the article
apply
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
person
physically fit and mentally Add an article
a person
wellbeing
and a balanced Correct your spelling
well-being
diet
plays a Use synonyms
shield
role Change the verb form
shielding
for
protecting against diseases. Doubtless, both views are needed for being healthy, Change preposition
in
however
not being a fitness freak I mostly believe Linking Words
the
power of the proportional Change preposition
in the
diet
.
İt is widely believed that physical Use synonyms
exercise
helps individuals feel energetic, Use synonyms
be
strong and mentally well. Unnecessary verb
apply
That is
because Linking Words
exercise
Use synonyms
burn
extra fat Change the verb form
burns
and
Correct word choice
apply
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Use synonyms
body
more alert and Add an article
the body
keep
it shaped. Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
According to
the research it is Linking Words
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
people
who Correct word choice
that people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
exercise
regularly Use synonyms
is
healthier than others. Regular physical activity can play Correct subject-verb agreement
are
role
of meditation which has an impact Add an article
the role
of
reducing the level of stress. Despite Change preposition
on
of
the facts which have been mentioned above, I have confidence that physical Change preposition
apply
exercise
cannot maintain the internal Use synonyms
body
system.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, a balanced Linking Words
diet
protects Use synonyms
Use synonyms
body
from different diseases including Add an article
the body
a
heart attack, Correct article usage
apply
a
diabetes, Change the article
apply
a
high cholesterol and other internal illnesses. Improper nutrition can damage Correct article usage
apply
immune
system strongly, resulting in problems Correct article usage
the immune
which
physical or mental development, poor energy levels and hair loss. Correct your spelling
with
As a result
of improper Linking Words
diet
, accumulated fat can be splattered with blood to Use synonyms
all
Correct determiner usage
the
body
, and it poses health problems. For these reasons, individuals are required not only to eat healthy foodUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
Linking Words
eat
quickly and in time. Fix the infinitive
to eat
According to
the doctors, Linking Words
a
balanced nutrition helps people to get rid of stress and to feel more motivated. İn my mind Remove the article
apply
to eat
Change the verb form
eating
healthy
plays a crucial role in the person’s life who is eager to live longer and healthier.
In conclusion, Change the word
healthily
although
Linking Words
exercise
is helpful for health Use synonyms
due to
staying fit, energetic and wellbeing. I strongly trust that a balanced Linking Words
diet
is more influential than regular physical activity.Use synonyms
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grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity. For example, 'Individuals believe that exercise is important for immune system' should be 'Some individuals believe that exercise is important for the immune system.'
content
Ensure consistency in your argument. In the introduction, you mention that both views are needed, but the conclusion states a clear preference for a balanced diet without summarizing the importance of exercise as well.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument. Words like 'crucial' and 'influential' are excellent, but try to avoid repeating phrases like 'balanced diet' too frequently.
content
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both exercise and diet, supporting each standpoint with logical arguments.
structure
The essay methodically addresses the benefits of both exercise and a balanced diet, making it easy to follow the argumentation.
evidence
The inclusion of research and references to doctors lends credibility to the arguments presented.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?