It’s time to ban social media. It has been shown that it has made life worse for people all over the world, from politics, to self-image, to the spread of disinformation. It is a social experiment that has not worked and it is time to say goodbye.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
there is a statement
said
Verb problem
apply
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that social
media
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should be prohibited
due to
Linking Words
its disadvantages which
affected
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affect
show examples
mankinds
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mankind
on the global weather politically, self-image or
mislead
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misleading
show examples
news which was proven by trials. I firmly agree with
this
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argue
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argument
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.
Overall
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,
indivisual
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individual
individuals
have noticed that life has been changed, in various aspects
such
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as time
valuable
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apply
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and
ambitious
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ambition
show examples
, after
addict
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addicted
show examples
to
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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.
However
Linking Words
, social
media
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had a significant negative impact on both people and society, it added a kind of entertainment on our daily basis.
In particular
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, after using social
media
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, many
mislead
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misleading
show examples
information has been distributed by unknown
person
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persons
show examples
using any online platform.
For instance
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, when any crime happened in the past, no one
know
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knew
show examples
about it, but with spearing information nowadays on social
media
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, people can affect the general
openion
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opinion
by his/her thoughts which might lead to unnecessary interference
on
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in
show examples
the judgement.
In addition
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,
this
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type of misleading may happen in many
situation
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situations
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such
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as following and copying celebrities'
life
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lives
show examples
or infuencing by their advertisements which are wrong
dicision
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decision
decisions
and add unnecessary burden on
Correct article usage
an indivisual
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indivisual
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individual
budget.
Furthermore
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, as
aresult
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a result
of using
of
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apply
show examples
netowrk
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network
platforms massively, interpersonal communication
have
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has
show examples
shown
declined
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decline
show examples
.
for example
Linking Words
, it is
popualr
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popular
now we
could
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can
show examples
see everyone sitting everywhere alone or with
acompany
Correct your spelling
a company
company
, using his/her smartphone all or most
the
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of the
show examples
time.
This
Linking Words
attitude has led to cut-edge
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kindness and relationships. In conclusion, it can be stated that social
media
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have significant
dimerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
merits
outweigh the merits
on
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for
show examples
people and society
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we should decrease our
using
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use
show examples
and
addicting
Replace the word
addiction
show examples
.
Submitted by ghadeer_lab on

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task achievement
Make sure to use a spell checker to avoid minor spelling mistakes such as 'indivisual' which should be 'individual' and 'opinion' instead of 'openion'.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance your use of conjunctions and linking words to improve the flow between your ideas. For instance, transition words like 'So', 'Therefore', and 'Moreover' can better connect your points.
coherence cohesion.introduction conclusion present
The essay features an introduction and conclusion, which helps provide structure.
task achievement.relevant specific examples
You provide relevant examples to support your points, like the effect of social media on judgment in crime situations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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