The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two pie charts illustrate the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping
sales
in retail
sectors
in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Obviously, online
sales
for retail
sectors
in Canada had rapid growth
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
2005 to 2010.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
of almost retail
sectors
increased especially Electronic & Appliances, food & beverage and video game,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
sales
of some retail
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
as Home furnishings had
a
Change the article
an
show examples
obvious decline
in in
Change preposition
from
show examples
2005 to 2010. What stands up in comparing
sales
of online
sales
for retail
sectors
between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
pie charts is that there were increases
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sales
and percentages of three
sectors
in
chart
Add an article
the chart
a chart
show examples
such
as
Electronic
Fix the agreement mistake
Electronics
show examples
& Appliances, food & beverage and video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
. Especially the part of food & beverage that had a significant increase to 32% in 2010 from 22% in 2005, so that was the best figure if comparing with three
sectors
left.
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
percentage of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
sectors
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Electronic
Fix the agreement mistake
Electronics
show examples
& Appliances and video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
had a
growth
Correct word choice
similar growth
show examples
similarly
at 5% in 2010.But the online
sales
of some
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
as home furnishings decreased considerably ,it was from 25% in 2005 to 10% in 2010.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, sectors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • sector
  • sales figures
  • revenue
  • growth
  • decline
  • stable
  • significant
  • leading
  • least performing
  • comparison
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • online shopping
  • retail sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: