Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying the fact that young

Use synonyms

society are

Verb problem

people

show examples

needed

Wrong verb form

need

show examples

to have

full-

Correct your spelling

full-time

timefuture

Correct your spelling

time future

learning until they are at least 18 years old .

While

Linking Words

it is commonly held belief that

society

Use synonyms

should complete their improvement

until

Change preposition

show examples

18 there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that opposite. some

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

think that young

society

Use synonyms

should spend their years just studying and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

up the future they want to be

then

Linking Words

in addition

Linking Words

, completing

studying with

Wrong verb form

studies

show examples

never

stop can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

reach

community

Add an article

a community

the community

show examples

to the highest degree.

Which is

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

led

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

a political person who makes political changes

aply

Correct your spelling

doctor who saves people's lives or a

business man

Correct your spelling

businessman

show examples

moreover

Linking Words

, studying can

be made

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

personal development

such

Linking Words

as critical thinking skills and time management.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

who disagree young

society

Use synonyms

should have

full-timeyear

Correct your spelling

full-time

teaching.

Also

Linking Words

, they think that success doesn't count

to have

Change preposition

toward having

show examples

full-time studying The first point to note is

non

Correct your spelling

none

show examples

of the scientists had completed their studies and

that is

Linking Words

a good point of view.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, some

Use synonyms

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

are suffering from poor standards of living so it is not

realy

Correct your spelling

really

necessary to even study at

this

Linking Words

point.

However

Linking Words

, they required studying.

Moreover

Linking Words

difficulties

Correct article usage

the difficulties

show examples

of life put them in

a work situations

Correct the article-noun agreement

work situations

a work situation

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of studying.

To sum up

Linking Words

, despite

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

having different life and views

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

should not neglect at least full-time learning and focus on the future which depends on

this

Linking Words

part of age in order to get a good job

Submitted by aljouri50x50 on Fri Jul 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay presents the main points of the argument but the ideas could be developed more clearly and comprehensively. Ensure each point you make is thoroughly explained and supported with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay needs to be improved. Ensure clear paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Transitions between ideas need to be smoother to enhance the cohesion of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of essay.

task achievement

The essay attempts to cover various points related to the topic, including the potential benefits of full-time education and the consideration of different personal circumstances.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

245 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
These days people like to explore adveturous sports as a part of everyday learning. A certain segment of people think that authorities should not allow public access to risk-taking games, while other think it should be an individual choice to try these sports. This essay will critically analyse both perspective and support my opinion of government should not ban life threatning sports instead offer assistance in someway to pupils trying these sports.
6.5
band
The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
In today's fast-paced life, access to education is the source of economic and social growth for the toddlers of every province. The study is the basis of progress in every aspect of an agrarian. It is assumed that every junior who wants to exercise at the university must pay the entire fee through the government. However, the concept of paying fees is somewhat correct; I think the authorities should take this step for those who are not able to afford university fees.
4.5
band
In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.
In various nations young adults are moving away from their home towns and living in urban areas for higher education and for a better work life. Although, this may harm a person in the short term, it allows to creation of new opportunities and i believe that this advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages.
5
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
An array of masses believe that trees need to be planted in spare spaces in urban areas because
5
band
Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Crimes are one of all crucial problems for any society. Findings discover the pattern between criminals and their low level of education. Some people believe that increasing level of education will reduce number of crimes. I agree with this statement and we will discuss this question in this essay.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?