Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that young
society are
Verb problem
people
needed
to have Wrong verb form
need
full-
Correct your spelling
full-time
timefuture
learning until
they are at least 18 years old . Correct your spelling
time future
While
it is commonly held belief that society
should complete their improvement until
18
there is Change preposition
by
also
an argument that opposite.
some community
think that young Fix the agreement mistake
communities
society
should spend their years just studying and make
up the future they want to be Wrong verb form
making
then
. in addition
, completing studying with
never Wrong verb form
studies
stop can
reach Verb problem
apply
community
to the highest degree. Add an article
a community
the community
Which is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
led
to Wrong verb form
leads
be
a political person who makes political changes Wrong verb form
being
aply
doctor who saves people's lives or a Correct your spelling
a
business man
. Correct your spelling
businessman
moreover
, studying can be made
personal development Wrong verb form
improve
such
as critical thinking skills and time management.On the other hand
, there are some nation
who disagree young Fix the agreement mistake
nations
society
should have full-timeyear
teaching. Correct your spelling
full-time
Also
, they think that success doesn't count to have
full-time studying The first point to note is Change preposition
toward having
non
of the scientists had completed their studies and Correct your spelling
none
that is
a good point of view. Otherwise
, some society
are suffering from poor standards of living so it is not Fix the agreement mistake
societies
realy
necessary to even study at Correct your spelling
really
this
point. However
, they required studying. Moreover
, difficulties
of life put them in Correct article usage
the difficulties
a work situations
Correct the article-noun agreement
work situations
a work situation
instead
of studying.
To sum up
, despite community
having different life and views Correct article usage
the community
i
believe that Change the capitalization
I
nation
should not neglect at least full-time learning and focus on the future which depends on Correct article usage
the nation
this
part of age in order to get a good jobSubmitted by aljouri50x50 on
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task achievement
The essay presents the main points of the argument but the ideas could be developed more clearly and comprehensively. Ensure each point you make is thoroughly explained and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay needs to be improved. Ensure clear paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas need to be smoother to enhance the cohesion of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover various points related to the topic, including the potential benefits of full-time education and the consideration of different personal circumstances.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.