IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter say where the park is, say how often this happens give a description of the man and the dogs.

#house #park #man #dogs #council #danger #description
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Dear Smith, I am writing
this
 letter to draw your attention to a dog problem at the
park
 across the street where I live.I am residing on Ford Street and the
park
 is Green
Park
.
This
 issue happens every day, a young boy brings his two
dogs
 to the
park
 and allows them to go free across the
park
, off-lease.
This
 is potentially dangerous for visitors.
Although
dogs
 do not look fierce, they frequently frighten children which is a concern for their parents.I have filed a complaint with the police , but they are not taking action. Despite the fact that the sign clearly states that off-lease
dogs
 are not allowed. The man appears probably 30 years old, 6 feet high and well built.His
dogs
 are 5 feet long and black .The bread is a boxer. I hope you will be able to take care of
this
 matter. Yours sincerely, parm
Submitted by parminderbitti3 on

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task achievement
Provide more details about the specific dangers and incidents caused by the dogs to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization by separating different ideas into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
You have addressed all the bullet points in the task prompt, which shows a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The letter starts with a clear greeting and ends with an appropriate closing, maintaining a formal tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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