Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?

Recently ,many habitat areas
are being
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
urbanized
to
Change preposition
so
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people
get by . Unfortunately
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wild
animals
need to struggle with urbanization. I never agree with that , why
reason
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the reason
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I will explain. From the
down
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dawn
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of civilization,
people
have already started
off
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apply
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construction,
make
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making
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a roads
Correct the article-noun agreement
roads
a road
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,rural areas,
and
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apply
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etc
..
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.
...
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However
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However,
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these situations
has
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have
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let
Correct your spelling
led
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to destroying animal’s houses. Today a lot of species of
animals
are confronting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extinction.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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these
animals
will not find a habitat to
existing
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exist
show examples
within the next decades because
human’s
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human
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demands are increasing every year .
For
example
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example,
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the population of the world is predicted
double
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to double
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up in the next centuries and that brings about build
a
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of
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new dwellings. İn
addition
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addition,
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most likely
people
will start
damage
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damaging
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our jungles because we do not have enough area for building.
According to
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research
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researches
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researches,
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some species of animal will have died out in the future
therefore
human catastrophe. Front my point of view, we must immediately stop urbanization and
elimination
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eliminate
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural habits
otherwise
we can affected by that incident.
Besides
we must remember that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wild
animals
contribute to
Correct article usage
the eco-system
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eco-system
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ecosystem
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of our planet and they
are playing
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play
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critical
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a critical
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role
to sustain
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in sustaining
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world’s
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the world’s
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balance.
For instance
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bees fertilize flowers after that the flowers prevent
Correct article usage
the affects
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affects
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effects
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of greenhouse
gas
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gases
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.
On the other hand
small group of
people
behave irresponsibly in the face of
animal’s
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animal
show examples
annihilation. They do not want to solve
problem
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problems
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because one of the important
thought
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thoughts
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is
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to
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create a new industry.
To conclude
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind should not neglect all animal’s
live
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lives
show examples
and we can protect their natural habits.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and easy to understand. Some sentences are difficult to follow due to errors in syntax and grammar. Consider revising unclear sections for clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention specific species that are endangered due to human activities, both in the introduction and body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one and that within each paragraph, the sentences are coherently connected.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported with sufficient explanation and details. For example, when mentioning the impact of urbanization on wildlife, provide more detailed instances or statistics to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the task and provides a position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion on the matter, creating a sense of closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • food security
  • malnutrition
  • urban development
  • quality of life
  • social stability
  • economic development
  • infrastructure
  • living standards
  • moral responsibility
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem balance
  • environmental degradation
  • climate regulation
  • ecological balance
  • sustainable development
  • compromise
  • natural habitats
  • endangered species
  • medical discoveries
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