Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently ,many habitat areas
are being
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
urbanized
to
Change preposition
so
show examples
people
get by . Unfortunately
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild
animals
need to struggle with urbanization. I never agree with that , why
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
I will explain. From the
down
Correct your spelling
dawn
show examples
of civilization,
people
have already started
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
construction,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
a roads
Correct the article-noun agreement
roads
a road
show examples
,rural areas,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
these situations
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
let
Correct your spelling
led
show examples
to destroying animal’s houses. Today a lot of species of
animals
are confronting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extinction.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
these
animals
will not find a habitat to
existing
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
within the next decades because
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
demands are increasing every year .
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
the population of the world is predicted
double
Fix the infinitive
to double
show examples
up in the next centuries and that brings about build
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
new dwellings. İn
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
most likely
people
will start
damage
Wrong verb form
damaging
show examples
our jungles because we do not have enough area for building.
According to
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
researches
Add a comma
researches,
show examples
some species of animal will have died out in the future
therefore
human catastrophe. Front my point of view, we must immediately stop urbanization and
elimination
Replace the word
eliminate
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural habits
otherwise
we can affected by that incident.
Besides
we must remember that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild
animals
contribute to
Correct article usage
the eco-system
show examples
eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
of our planet and they
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
critical
Add an article
a critical
show examples
role
to sustain
Change preposition
in sustaining
show examples
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
balance.
For instance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bees fertilize flowers after that the flowers prevent
Correct article usage
the affects
show examples
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
of greenhouse
gas
Fix the agreement mistake
gases
show examples
.
On the other hand
small group of
people
behave irresponsibly in the face of
animal’s
Change noun form
animal
show examples
annihilation. They do not want to solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
because one of the important
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
is
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
create a new industry.
To conclude
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind should not neglect all animal’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and we can protect their natural habits.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and easy to understand. Some sentences are difficult to follow due to errors in syntax and grammar. Consider revising unclear sections for clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention specific species that are endangered due to human activities, both in the introduction and body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one and that within each paragraph, the sentences are coherently connected.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported with sufficient explanation and details. For example, when mentioning the impact of urbanization on wildlife, provide more detailed instances or statistics to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the task and provides a position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion on the matter, creating a sense of closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • food security
  • malnutrition
  • urban development
  • quality of life
  • social stability
  • economic development
  • infrastructure
  • living standards
  • moral responsibility
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem balance
  • environmental degradation
  • climate regulation
  • ecological balance
  • sustainable development
  • compromise
  • natural habitats
  • endangered species
  • medical discoveries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: