Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or a negative development ? "

The world has reached gargantuan technical

achivements

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achievements

and globalization has engulfed most countries. One of

consequences

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the consequences

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unification

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the unification

a unification

show examples

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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around the world. People often

inclines

Wrong verb form

inclined

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to the

western

Capitalize word

Western

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culture of mass consumption and liberal values,

Correct word choice

and a

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lot of societies become more elaborate and

automazed

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automated

. It is the so-called

post industrial

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post-industrial

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economy. I view

this

Linking Words

process favourably, we will discuss it in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

, we will consider the positive arguments. As a rule, globalization and following institutions of liberal democracy raise

standarts

Correct your spelling

standards

of living. A plethora of examples confirm

this

Linking Words

pattern: South Korea, Japan, and postbellum Germany.

Standarts

Correct your spelling

Standards

of living can be measured using numerous indicators

such

Linking Words

as GDP per capita, life expectancy, and crime rate.

Thus

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we are

enough

Correct determiner usage

apply

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objective when we compare different countries. Should we take care

about

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less developed nations, we have to help them with their social evolution and support any integrational processes.

Secondly

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, we will consider the negative arguments. Many people around the world are very conservative

therefore

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they resist any life changes. They already have got used to the local culture and their lifestyle, they can consider any foreign political or cultural sway as hostile.

For instance

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, the Saudi Arabian case. The Crown Prince insinuates international cultural

standarts

Correct your spelling

standards

in the local Muslim society and he meets with fierce resistance.

Moreover

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, we can

loose

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lose

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the diversity of humans if we unify mankind.

To sum up

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, every society should choose a way on its own. I don't imagine a life in more archaic conditions, but it is a norm in some places.

Also

Linking Words

, I opine that enforcement doesn't help to raise them, but only they will get angry.

andreidiakov2100

Jul 12, 2024

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task achievement

For a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the task. You should present a balanced view by addressing both positive and negative aspects comprehensively. Currently, the negative aspects are somewhat underdeveloped.

coherence cohesion

In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay is logically structured, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit and concise. Try to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your points effectively in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use transitions between your points more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' can help guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

You have shown a solid understanding of the topic and have included relevant examples to support your points, which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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