The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities
The diagram illustrates the consequence of an observation about folk’s caffeine drink purchasing and sipping routines in five towns in Australia. I will describe the differences in each province.                With regard to the trends above we can categorize them into two different ways.
Firstly
, unprocessed and soluble
coffee
together have low tends by none of them came above fifty-five
percent
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per cent
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.
In addition
, brand new
coffee
is the lowest, especially in Brisbane and Adelaide cities that rise not more than thirty-five
percent
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per cent
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.
Whereas
the number of persons who prefer these kinds of drinks has grown not much
whereas
, in Adelaide, it turns out that the dried
coffee
extract is the most popular in the area.              
Secondly
, in terms of café hoppers, they are high in graphs.
Moreover
, there is all over forty-five
percent
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per cent
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while
in Melbourne is the highest (nearly sixty-five
percent
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per cent
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) coming up with Hobart for just a bit lower (hardly tell the differences).             
To conclude
, there are clearly seen that going to the
coffee
shop is the most common.
On the other hand
, Unroasted
coffee
are
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is
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the least habitual and way back behind others.
Submitted by nugentsr on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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