The chart below shows the number of passengers arriving at a train station per hour across a day, and also the average price of their tickets.

The chart below shows the number of passengers arriving at a train station per hour across a day, and also the average price of their tickets.
The provided table gives information about the number of people who arrive at a particular train station
hour
Correct determiner usage
every hour
show examples
and each day, and
also
it shows the ticket cost.
Overall
, it can be seen that the greatest number of arrivals is at 12
pm
,
while
2
pm
is the least common trip.
Moreover
, the most expensive trip is at 12
pm
,
while
the cheapest is at 4
pm
.
To begin
with, 12
pm
and 8 am trips experience the highest rate of travellers who reach their destinations which are 700 and 690 individuals respectively. Meanwhile, arriving at the stations at 2
pm
and 10
pm
record the lowest with 290 and 300 commuters.
In addition
, the price of tickets has fluctuation. 12
pm
trip is the most expensive journey with $31 dollars . Followed by 8 am $29. 10
pm
and 6
pm
trips witness the cheapest price at $18 and $11 respectively.
Submitted by fatmahaleesa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pm with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • number of passengers
  • arriving
  • train station
  • per hour
  • throughout the day
  • average ticket price
  • progressively increases
  • mid-afternoon
  • gradually decreases
  • peak
  • approximately
  • early morning
  • late evening
  • lowest
  • averaging
  • slight fluctuation
  • highest average price
  • observed
  • mid-morning
  • fluctuation
  • not significant
  • difference
  • relatively small
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