The supplied bar chart above represents the data about people living in rural, urban and town who born in Australia or outside of state between 1995 and 2010.
The bar chart shows the data about a
comparation
between Correct your spelling
comparison
people
who was
born in Change the verb form
were
Australia
and who was
not born in Correct subject-verb agreement
were
Australia
from 1995 until 2010. In addition
, the people
are living in rural areas
, cities
, and towns.
To begin
with, the people
who was
born in Change the verb form
were
Australia
in 1995 and 2010 have some significant differentiations. In cities
, the total percentage
for
Change preposition
of
people
who was
born in Change the verb form
were
Australia
was 50 per cent
. Then
, increase
significantly in 2010 Wrong verb form
increased
until
62 per Change preposition
to
cent
. Besides
that, people
who was
born in Change the verb form
were
cities
in Australia
in 1995 was 20 per cent
. But, in 2010 the amount was
slumped Unnecessary verb
apply
under
20 per Change preposition
to under
cent
. The same thing also
happened in rural areas
which is
the Verb problem
where
percentage
was
plunged from 30 per Unnecessary verb
apply
cent
to 18 per cent
.
Moreover
, people
who was
born outside Change the verb form
were
Australia
in 1995 and 2010 also
had a big gap. People
who was
born outside Change the verb form
were
Australia
in 2010 was
got higher than in 1995. The gap was Unnecessary verb
apply
until
20 per Change preposition
apply
cent
. This
thing happen
in Change the verb form
happens
cities area
. Fix the agreement mistake
city areas
Besides
, in towns, there is a slight percentage
, in 1995 was 10 per cent
and in 2010 was 8 per cent
. Lastly
, in rural areas
, a highly plunged
was happen from from 40 per Replace the word
high plunge
cent
to the lowest at 5 per cent
.
Overall
, people
who was
born in Change the verb form
were
Australia
in cities
have an increase
Replace the word
increased
percentage
but in towns and rural areas
are
not, The same thing Unnecessary verb
apply
goes
Verb problem
apply
happen
to Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
people
who was
born outside Change the verb form
were
Australia
.Submitted by wishmeluck on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, besides".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, areas, cities, percentage, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "plunged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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