IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount #giye
In many nations, a segment of the population is earning high wages and
this
 proves to be fruitful as these
people
 are contributing to the taxable income of a nation.
On the contrary
, some opine and state that how much a person earns should be limited by the government. In my opinion, to some extent, limits should be set on wages to create an equal distribution of wealth among citizens but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 hard work of an individual should
also
 be rewarded.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives. On the one hand,
people
 yielding high income contribute a lot to the economy by paying a generous amount of their earnings to various taxes levied by the government that
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 a nation to run the economy smoothly. To illustrate, if most individuals fall in the highest bracket of
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
show examples
 slab, it ultimately increases the government’s wealth which will be utilized in building better infrastructure,
educational
Correct word choice
and educational
show examples
 and medical facilities which help in the development of a country.
However
, on the flip side levying limitations on the income of citizens by the government will ensure equal distribution of wealth among individuals which will lessen the discrimination among
people
, leading to a happier nation.
This
 will
also
 mean equal opportunities to all, which
otherwise
 is not possible as the accumulation of money in the hands of a few
people
 will lead to disruption of social conflicts. In conclusion, there is no doubt that limiting high salaries is beneficial as it provides
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 chance to earn money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all but not letting a deserving candidate
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
earn is
also
 not good. A
balances
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
 approach will be fruitful for both citizens and the economy of a country.
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Specific real-world instances can provide a clearer picture and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph relate back to this main idea.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints and provided your opinion, which is essential for a well-rounded essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are clear and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: