People living in the twenty first century generally have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society nowadays believe that our lifestyle in the twenty-first century is much better compared to our older generation.
this
essay will discuss why I strongly agree with
this
statement as we have less number of deaths
along with
advanced technology . On the one
Hand
Fix capitalization
hand
show examples
, In the new century
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
has
enhance
Change the verb form
enhanced
show examples
because of the farmaciatical companies that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
always
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
on improving their
vaccnation
Correct your spelling
vaccination
vaccinations
and
tretments
Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
for
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
that used to be
life
theaten
Correct your spelling
threaten
For
people
before,
As a result
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
now more on short term sickness ,
For example
, old
people
in the past tend to die because of flu during winter ,
However
Fix capitalization
however
show examples
, thanks to researchers
this
is no more happening as they tend to study
this
illnes
Correct your spelling
illness
and find out how to resist it. On the other Hand, technology has developed in
such
an
amezing
Correct your spelling
amazing
way and now become crucial in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
of our
life
like
work
aand
Correct your spelling
and
school because we
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
on them more
offten
Correct your spelling
often
in many
taskes
Correct your spelling
tasks
.
For instance
, Artifical
intagance
Correct your spelling
instance
are now used by employees in many workplaces to make several tasks
relate
Change the form of the verb
related
show examples
to their
work
like making a
presintation
Correct your spelling
presentation
about projects or calculate
a numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a number
numbers
show examples
of statistics reports.
moreover
,teachers use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
AI as well to structure day-to-day lessons for their students. In conclusion, I strongly believe that we
people
of the
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
century are lucky , as we have many advantages that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been
add
Change the verb form
adding
added
show examples
to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, some of them are the decreased number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
among
olderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
older
people
,
due to
discover
Change the verb form
discovering
show examples
more medication like vaccination, another reason is that the
inovation
Correct your spelling
innovation
of the
techolony
Correct your spelling
technology
which has contributed positively to our
life
in many sectors like education and
work
.
Submitted by hebadyala on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and spelling to ensure clarity. For example, capitalize the beginning of each sentence and ensure correct spelling of words like 'medicine,' 'pharmaceutical,' and 'vaccination.'
coherence
Enhance the coherence of your essay by using appropriate transition words and ensuring that ideas flow logically. For instance, words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Therefore' can help to create a smoother progression of ideas.
support examples
Make your ideas more specific and detailed. Provide clearer and more comprehensive examples to support your points. For example, when discussing the advances in medical treatment, you could detail specific diseases that are now more manageable due to vaccinations and treatments.
task response
Strengthen your task response by expanding your ideas and ensuring a balanced discussion. You might also consider addressing potential counterarguments to your view to show a thorough exploration of the topic.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points to be discussed, which is effective for setting up your argument.
conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes your key points and restates your position, reinforcing your argument effectively.
relevancy
You have provided relevant points such as advances in medical treatment and technology, which are appropriate and contribute well to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Quality of life
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Life expectancy
  • Mortality rates
  • Standard of living
  • Economic growth
  • Job opportunities
  • Education access
  • Literacy rates
  • Human rights
  • Gender equality
  • Working conditions
  • Industrialization
  • Environmental issues
  • Modern conveniences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: