Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.
One
part of society considers History
to be one
of the most important subjects
in the school curriculum and others believe that modern world
Science
and Technology
are the most valuable subjects
to learn. In this
essay, I am going to elaborate my
take on Change preposition
on my
this
in further
paragraphs.
As a whole, History
is one
of attractive, amazing and dramatic subjects
to learn. Studying this
course we can learn about the past of the earth, people and their costumes, food habits, education, hygiene and so on. Furthermore
, studying the historical information there are very interesting scientific methods to learn, such
as food preservation, hygiene care in childbirth, aseptic techniques used in surgeries,special methods used in agriculture such
as pesticides and so on. After discovering the technology
we can introduce Correct pronoun usage
it for
for
the modern Change preposition
to
world
because ancient technology
is environmentally friend
. So the subject is interesting.
Replace the word
friendly
On the other hand
, the modern world
developed gradually with science
and technology
and whole
Add an article
the whole
world
bring
into Wrong verb form
was brought
one
place. As a simple example, the mobile phone is one
of the greatest inventions and more than thousands of people share ideas at once without meeting face to face. Furthermore
, within one
second we can search for lots of information about the sun,moon,earth,food,meditation, and clothes as well. Modern Earth is mostly based on science
and technology
.
In a nutshell, scientists explore the universe and the deep sea by means of technology
. They are searching about the history
. My take on this
,
is if Remove the comma
apply
Science
and Technology
are the body, History
is the spinal cord of the body. There both subjects
are very useful subjects
in the school curriculum.Submitted by amalitharangani0Most of villagers are changing their accommodations from villages to cities all around the world. As a result of this countryside residents are lower than town areas.I think this is a negative development and in this essay, I will elaborate my perspectives furthermore.
According to this situation, my take on this is, different of the facilities between the town and the village. As an example, there are lots of shopping centres in the city such as house- hold items, clothes, stationeries, vehicles and so on. Conversely, developed educational centres, schools, hospitals with enough facilities are also at the urban areas. Nevertheless, there are lots of companies and unlimited job opportunities in the city area. Also, mostly there are continuous electricity, gas,water and well planned and punctual transport system as well. So people prefer to live in comfortably and moving to cities as they possible.
Additionally, villagers and town people's have same basic need. Such as food, accommodation, education, good health and freedom as well. In some countries there is unavailable electricity in the countryside. Also, there is poor transport system, teachers and facilities at village schools. Moreover, sometimes not enough medications and human resources. So countryside people preferred to move to town. Finally, countryside population decreased and urbanisation in cities.
In a nutshell, if there is as usual same facilities all over the city and rural areas,as there is lots of freedom in the countryside . My point of view is around the world this point is most prominent in developing countries.
on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view, discussing both the importance of History and Science and Technology in today's world. However, there are a few areas for improvement:
1. **Organization**: Ensure that each paragraph centers around one main idea with clear topic sentences.
2. **Language Precision**: Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and the use of linking words to improve the flow.
3. **Clarity and Detail**: Add more specific examples and elaborate on points to provide a thorough analysis.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion:
1. **Transition Words**: Use a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
2. **Paragraph Development**: Each paragraph should develop a single point more completely, without jumping between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state your stance on the topic. This sets a good framework for your essay.
relevant specific examples
You have made a good attempt to provide relevant examples from both history and modern science and technology.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?