It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some individuals believe that being able to take
risks
is something that one should have, either in terms of their professional career or related to their personal matters. I tend to believe that the advantages of taking
risks
outweigh the
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantage
that it may cause, which will be discussed in
this
essay. On the one hand, the major drawback of taking
risks
in both lives is that there are bigger chances for someone to face bigger problems.
In other words
, there are many uncertainties in terms of entering a new world
that is
still unknown
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
them.
Furthermore
, they will
also
have to sacrifice something in their life, which they have been comfortable with for several years. Moving to a new
job
,
for example
, may lead to a long period of joblessness because some people believe that it is hard to find a better
job
these days, even before trying.
Therefore
, they prefer to stay in their current employer rather than
taking
Correct your spelling
making
show examples
an effort to have a
job
in
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apply
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somewhere new,
although
their paycheck could not satisfy their needs.
On the other hand
, it is going to be more beneficial for someone to take
risks
in their lives. If one has the courage to make a move, he or she is more likely to achieve their
self actualization
Add a hyphen
self-actualization
show examples
, which will boost their confidence or improve the quality of their well-being.
For example
, those who make an effort
in leaving
Change preposition
to leave
show examples
their current employer to find a better
job
will have greater opportunities of getting it, rather than those who choose to stay in their comfort zone. People with
such
courage will be able to unlock their new skills,
such
as networking and problem-solving, which are crucial to have in a fast-changing world.
Therefore
, they can have a
job
with a higher salary which
then
can be utilized to maximize their quality of living, like going
to
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apply
show examples
somewhere new during their holidays or even taking courses and certifications that can improve their capabilities. In conclusion, being brave to take
risks
in our lives is an important thing to do. The benefits of doing
such
things outweigh the drawbacks
due to
achieving our
self actualization
Add a hyphen
self-actualization
show examples
by acquiring new skills which can lead to a better quality of living.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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coherence
Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to make your main points more immediately apparent.
task achievement
While discussing disadvantages, you might want to elaborate a bit more to balance the discussion with the advantages.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states your stance and sets up the structure for the essay effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, especially when discussing the advantages of taking risks.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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