Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activities levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued that

kids

Use synonyms

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

Use synonyms

time

Correct quantifier usage

more time

show examples

watching

Use synonyms

shows

much more

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

than in

show examples

the past. I believe that addiction

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

programs is the main cause behind

this

Linking Words

problem. And

parents

Use synonyms

should set rules regarding

this

Linking Words

issue.

One

Use synonyms

cause is the attractive elements that are included in

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

Cartoons.

This

Linking Words

is to say, that

this

Linking Words

type of

programs

Fix the agreement mistake

program

show examples

provide

uniuqe

Correct your spelling

unique

and special characters, with

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

backgrounds, which are designed to make

children

Use synonyms

spend more than

one

Use synonyms

hour watching the television.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, musical

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

being used in

Use synonyms

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

shows which increase a huge number of views, and

this

Linking Words

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the addiction

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

Cartoons.

For example

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

of the most

popluar

Correct your spelling

popular

Cartoons in KSA is called "Martha

show

Capitalize word

Show

show examples

that

Correct word choice

which

show examples

highly depends on musical content which is massively

enterntining

Correct your spelling

entertaining

for

children

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and makes

children

Use synonyms

memorise all the program songs.

One

Use synonyms

suggested

sloution

Correct your spelling

solution

, is that

parents

Use synonyms

are totally responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

preventing

this

Linking Words

issue.

This

Linking Words

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have the authority that makes them able to control the

time

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

kids

Use synonyms

spend on

Use synonyms

by setting

time

Use synonyms

limits.

In other words

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

should eliminate

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

by setting 30

mintues

Correct your spelling

minutes

per day for watching

Use synonyms

channles

Correct your spelling

channels

This

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

will reduce the chance of being a

child

Use synonyms

addicted

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television. As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

children

Use synonyms

will have more free

time

Use synonyms

that can be consumed in

effective

Change the article

an effective

show examples

way.

Such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

going to

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a children

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

gym

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

forces a

child

Use synonyms

play

Fix the infinitive

to play

show examples

and

interact

Change the verb form

interacts

show examples

with other

kids

Use synonyms

which

benefit

Correct subject-verb agreement

benefits

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

physical health.

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent medical article

emphasis

Replace the word

emphasises

show examples

the importance of

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

develop a

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

cognitive abilities.

To conclude

Linking Words

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

programs that are designed to attract a

child

Use synonyms

's attention and

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

addiction

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the main cause behind

this

Linking Words

issue, and

parents

Use synonyms

must control how

children

Use synonyms

spend

thier

Correct your spelling

their

time

Use synonyms

healthy

Change the article

a healthy

show examples

way.

noufxmutSat Jul 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

complete response

Elaborate more on the reasons behind children's addiction to TV. You mentioned attractive elements and musical effects, but other causes like lack of outdoor spaces or busy family schedules could also be discussed.

clear comprehensive ideas

There are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'enterntining' instead of 'entertaining' and 'unqiue' instead of 'unique'. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms.

relevant specific examples

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. The example of 'Martha show' is helpful, but perhaps additional examples or studies could be added to strengthen the argument.

logical structure

Add more linking words to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Phrases like 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' can help in connecting your points better.

supported main points

Ensure every main idea is developed in its own separate paragraph to enhance clarity and focus in your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the topic and provides a strong thesis statement outlining the cause and the solution.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the need for parental control.

complete response

You have chosen a relevant and current issue, making your essay interesting and engaging for the reader.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Statistics show that the world's population is increasing rapidly. It is expected that most of us will be living in cities within the next few decades. The question of whether urbanisation is a positive or negative development remains controversial.
6.5
band
Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over historical research. While some claim that it is vital for people to discover their historical background, the opposite makes a statement that concentrating on the current and next generations plays such a paramount significance role. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements.
6
band
The system used for rubbish or garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. It is causing problems for you and your neighbours. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter Describe how the rubbish collection system is not working Explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours Suggest what should be done about the problem
I am writing you this letter because the garbage collection system has broken down in our area.
7.5
band
Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent from having this problem?
In modern society, purchasing items is no longer related to necessity; it has become a status symbol and a leisure activity. Consumers are not buying things according to their needs but to show society the lifestyle they have. Even if, their finances do not allow it, they end up taking loans at high interest rates. Therefore, all these unnecessary purchases leave them in heavy debt.
7.5
band
Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
It has become increasingly common today for individuals to the surveillance of the same movies, styles, movies, censures, advertisements and TV channels. Although many point out that countries are becoming less obvious. I would argue that the benefits for society as a whole overshadow these perceived drawbacks.

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activities levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent from having this problem?

Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?