Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activities levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?
It is argued that
kids
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
time
watching Correct quantifier usage
more time
TV
shows much more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
in
the past. I believe that addiction Change preposition
than in
on
Change preposition
to
TV
programs is the main cause behind this
problem. And parents
should set rules regarding this
issue.
One
cause is the attractive elements that are included in children
Cartoons. Change noun form
children's
This
is to say, that this
type of programs
provide Fix the agreement mistake
program
uniuqe
and special characters, with Correct your spelling
unique
colorful
backgrounds, which are designed to make Change the spelling
colourful
children
spend more than one
hour watching the television. In addition
to that, musical effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
is
being used in Correct subject-verb agreement
are
kids
shows which increase a huge number of views, and Change noun form
kids'
kid's
this
is result
Correct article usage
a result
to
the addiction Change preposition
of
on
Change preposition
to
TV
Cartoons. For example
, one
of the most popluar
Cartoons in KSA is called "Martha Correct your spelling
popular
show
" Capitalize word
Show
that
highly depends on musical content which is massively Correct word choice
which
enterntining
for Correct your spelling
entertaining
children
,
and makes Remove the comma
apply
children
memorise all the program songs.
One
suggested sloution
, is that Correct your spelling
solution
parents
are totally responsible in
preventing Change preposition
for
this
issue. This
is because,
they have the authority that makes them able to control the Remove the comma
apply
time
thier
Correct your spelling
their
kids
spend on TV
by setting time
limits. In other words
, parents
should eliminate TV
time
by setting 30 mintues
per day for watching Correct your spelling
minutes
TV
channles
. Correct your spelling
channels
This
is
will reduce the chance of being a Unnecessary verb
apply
child
addicted on
Change preposition
to
the
television. As Correct article usage
apply
result
, Correct article usage
a result
children
will have more free time
that can be consumed in effective
way. Change the article
an effective
Such
as,
going to Remove the comma
apply
Correct article usage
a children
children
gym Change noun form
children's
that
forces a Correct pronoun usage
apply
child
play
and Fix the infinitive
to play
interact
with other Change the verb form
interacts
kids
which benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
the
physical health. Change the word
their
For instance
, a recent medical article emphasis
the importance of Replace the word
emphasises
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
activites
as Correct your spelling
activities
it
develop a Correct pronoun usage
they
child
cognitive abilities.
Change noun form
child's
To conclude
, children
programs that are designed to attract a Change noun form
children's
child
's attention and rise
addiction Correct your spelling
raise
is
the main cause behind Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
issue, and parents
must control how children
spend thier
Correct your spelling
their
time
in healthy
way.Change the article
a healthy
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complete response
Elaborate more on the reasons behind children's addiction to TV. You mentioned attractive elements and musical effects, but other causes like lack of outdoor spaces or busy family schedules could also be discussed.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'enterntining' instead of 'entertaining' and 'unqiue' instead of 'unique'. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms.
relevant specific examples
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. The example of 'Martha show' is helpful, but perhaps additional examples or studies could be added to strengthen the argument.
logical structure
Add more linking words to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Phrases like 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' can help in connecting your points better.
supported main points
Ensure every main idea is developed in its own separate paragraph to enhance clarity and focus in your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and provides a strong thesis statement outlining the cause and the solution.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the need for parental control.
complete response
You have chosen a relevant and current issue, making your essay interesting and engaging for the reader.
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