Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activities levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

#children #television #activities #levels #case #measures #activity

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It is argued that

kids

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spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

Use synonyms

time

Correct quantifier usage

more time

show examples

watching

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shows

much more

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

than in

show examples

the past. I believe that addiction

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show examples

Use synonyms

programs is the main cause behind

this

Linking Words

problem. And

parents

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should set rules regarding

this

Linking Words

issue.

One

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cause is the attractive elements that are included in

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children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

Cartoons.

This

Linking Words

is to say, that

this

Linking Words

type of

programs

Fix the agreement mistake

program

show examples

provide

uniuqe

Correct your spelling

unique

and special characters, with

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

backgrounds, which are designed to make

children

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spend more than

one

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hour watching the television.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, musical

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

being used in

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kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

shows which increase a huge number of views, and

this

Linking Words

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the addiction

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

Cartoons.

For example

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

of the most

popluar

Correct your spelling

popular

Cartoons in KSA is called "Martha

show

Capitalize word

Show

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that

Correct word choice

which

show examples

highly depends on musical content which is massively

enterntining

Correct your spelling

entertaining

for

children

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and makes

children

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memorise all the program songs.

One

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suggested

sloution

Correct your spelling

solution

, is that

parents

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are totally responsible

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for

show examples

preventing

this

Linking Words

issue.

This

Linking Words

is because

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apply

show examples

they have the authority that makes them able to control the

time

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thier

Correct your spelling

their

kids

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spend on

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by setting

time

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limits.

In other words

Linking Words

parents

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should eliminate

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time

Use synonyms

by setting 30

mintues

Correct your spelling

minutes

per day for watching

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channles

Correct your spelling

channels

This

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

will reduce the chance of being a

child

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addicted

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television. As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

children

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will have more free

time

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that can be consumed in

effective

Change the article

an effective

show examples

way.

Such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

going to

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a children

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

gym

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

forces a

child

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play

Fix the infinitive

to play

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and

interact

Change the verb form

interacts

show examples

with other

kids

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which

benefit

Correct subject-verb agreement

benefits

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

physical health.

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent medical article

emphasis

Replace the word

emphasises

show examples

the importance of

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

develop a

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

cognitive abilities.

To conclude

Linking Words

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

programs that are designed to attract a

child

Use synonyms

's attention and

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

addiction

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the main cause behind

this

Linking Words

issue, and

parents

Use synonyms

must control how

children

Use synonyms

spend

thier

Correct your spelling

their

time

Use synonyms

healthy

Change the article

a healthy

show examples

way.

Submitted by noufxmut on Sat Jul 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

complete response

Elaborate more on the reasons behind children's addiction to TV. You mentioned attractive elements and musical effects, but other causes like lack of outdoor spaces or busy family schedules could also be discussed.

clear comprehensive ideas

There are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'enterntining' instead of 'entertaining' and 'unqiue' instead of 'unique'. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms.

relevant specific examples

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. The example of 'Martha show' is helpful, but perhaps additional examples or studies could be added to strengthen the argument.

logical structure

Add more linking words to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Phrases like 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' can help in connecting your points better.

supported main points

Ensure every main idea is developed in its own separate paragraph to enhance clarity and focus in your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the topic and provides a strong thesis statement outlining the cause and the solution.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the need for parental control.

complete response

You have chosen a relevant and current issue, making your essay interesting and engaging for the reader.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activities levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can the G do to address the problem? What can individuals do?

In some countries, it is now illegal for employers to reject job applicants because of their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Computer and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?