People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?
In the past, residents lived their whole lives in the same city
while
people
tend
to migrate to different Wrong verb form
tended
cities
several times. I believe that relates to the revolution on
transportation and career development and Change preposition
in
people
can benefit from these changes.
To begin
with, the efficiency of transportation has been well developed in the present day. Advanced technology such
as aviation and mass transit provides a
opportunity for Change the article
an
people
to travel distance cities
with high efficiency and capacity unlike in the past. As a result
, migration to different cities
becomes affordable of
the majority of citizens. It provides the benefit of Change preposition
for
people
having personal experience of different cultures. People
can be resident
of different Fix the agreement mistake
residents
cities
and interact with locals to find the most suitable lifestyle to
them.
Change preposition
for
Furthermore
, in the past, people
able
to have a simple education in local schools that was sufficient for them to find a job within the same city. The modern society, serval jobs Add a missing verb
were able
such
as lawyer and programmer require people
with intensive knowledge and skills to handle the job responsibility. People
may require
to move Wrong verb form
be required
into
different Change preposition
to
cities
which can provide facility
that benefit Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
on
their career development. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, Oxford has several prestigious universities which provide the best education while
California has locate
the most advanced technology enterprise. Verb problem
apply
Peoples
can choose to live in different Fix the agreement mistake
People
cities
base
on Wrong verb form
based
suitable
Replace the word
suitability
on
different stages of their career development.
To Change preposition
at
summarized
, Wrong verb form
summarise
people
migrate more frequently in the present day due to
higher academic requirements of workers and the reduction in the cost of travel. It allows people
to find the most suitable lifestyle and jobs for them.Submitted by andy1031227 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. Each paragraph should flow smoothly to the next. Also, rework some points for greater clarity and make sure transitions between points are smooth.
task achievement
Try to use more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points. This can help make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar, especially with articles (a, an, the) and subject-verb agreement. Proper use of these elements can make your writing more fluent and easier to understand.
task achievement
The essay stays on topic and provides a clear response to the question with relevant points and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose in framing the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with explanations, which makes the argument more robust.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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