Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
show examples
argued that the importance of learning a foreign
language
is only to have a
trip
or work in another
country
while
others believe that there are various reasons to learn a foreign
language
.
However
,
this
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss both perspectives and
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
reasons why I strongly advocate that studying a new
language
would be beneficial for many things.
To begin
with, studying a second
language
is essential for personal growth.
Firstly
, it is true that it would be useful during a
trip
to another
country
. If a
person
Add a verb
person is
person was
show examples
fluent in the
language
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
country
it will make the
trip
journey seamless since it will be unchallenging to talk to the locals.
Secondly
, an auxiliary
language
would be a plus point
while
applying for a job. It will
also
bring a chance for a new opportunity to work in another
country
. Nowadays, many jobs are remote, and
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
is one of the important
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
that people should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
learn in order to expand their
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
opportunity pool.
On the contrary
, there are various aspects that encourage people to become
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
multilingual. Learning a foreign
language
would boost cognitive benefits,
such
as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, creativity and communication skills.
Moreover
, studying an auxiliary
language
could be for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
as a hobby to stay mentally fit.
Lastly
, it could be an advantage for cultural access as it enhances personal experience and understanding towards another culture. To summarize, learning a second
language
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
various advantages. It will not only
useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
show examples
during a
trip
journey or career, but
also
would be beneficial for a personal achievement or even to keep an individual's mental health and well-being fit.
Submitted by debbychrist10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-connected to the next. For example, using transitional phrases can help enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your points with specific examples or scenarios. This will make your arguments more compelling and provide clear, vivid support for your claims.
general
Check for small grammatical errors and sentence structures. While minor inaccuracies don't heavily impact the overall score, consistently accurate language can enhance readability and professionalism.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and balanced response to the task. Both viewpoints are discussed, and a personal opinion is given, which enriches the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, which gives the essay a logical structure.
task achievement
The essay mentions multiple benefits of learning a new language, which shows good coverage of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: