Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by their doctor for their alignments. Discuss both views and give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #methods #acupuncture #massage #therapy #illness #drugs #doctor #alignments

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In today's world, opting for natural healing

methods

Use synonyms

to recover from illness

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

debatable. A group of individuals believe that

acupunture

Correct your spelling

acupuncture

and massage therapy are

prominant

Correct your spelling

prominent

methods

Use synonyms

to recover from illness

while

Linking Words

others oppose

this

Linking Words

and choose

medicines

Use synonyms

prescribed by their doctor.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both viewpoints and provide my opinion supported by

a profounding evidence

Remove the article

profounding evidence

a piece of profounding evidence

a shred of profounding evidence

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, natural healing

methods

Use synonyms

are being widely used around the world as they help in

longer

Rephrase

the long

show examples

run. Once applied,

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

tends to heal itself by the virtue of proper blood flow.

Secondly

Linking Words

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

no side effects.

For instance

Linking Words

, one study carried out by Thakur University stated that natural healing

methods

Use synonyms

are 50% more effective than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medicines

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, natural healing

methods

Use synonyms

are more effective in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

longer

Correct word choice

long

show examples

run.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people tend to opt for

medicines

Use synonyms

prescribed by their doctor. These

medicines

Use synonyms

are quicker in action and provide instant relief.

This

Linking Words

not only helps people to gain control over their pain but

also

Linking Words

helps them to get

a better sleep

Remove the article

better sleep

a night of better sleep

show examples

For example

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, ankle injury is

Change the article

apply

show examples

very common to a soccer player. A medicine can help them to recover fast and indulge themselves in

a playing soccer

Remove the article

playing soccer

a game of playing soccer

show examples

in a quick time.

Hence

Linking Words

medicines

Use synonyms

can be

Change the article

show examples

effective solution for people who

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

indulge in sporting activities.

To conclude

Linking Words

, both

medicines

Use synonyms

and natural healing

methods

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are important and

varies

Correct subject-verb agreement

vary

show examples

from person to person. A common man would prefer his alignments to take time and heal naturally

whereas

Linking Words

, a

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

person would prefer medicine.

Submitted by ankushkhandu on Sat Jul 13 2024

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advice

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents both viewpoints clearly. However, there are several areas you could improve on: 1. Introduction: Clarify the main topic right from the first sentence. Instead of saying 'debateable,' consider rephrasing to make the sentence smoother. 2. Grammar and Spelling: Correct minor grammatical and spelling errors ('are prominant' -> 'are prominent,' 'their is no side effects' -> 'there are no side effects'). 3. Content: Ensure examples are more specific and integrated into the argument seamlessly. Some statements, such as the Thakur University study, need clearer connection to the point being made. 4. Vocabulary: Try to vary your vocabulary more and avoid repetition ('natural healing methods' appears quite frequently). 5. Conclusion: Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points and providing a more definitive statement. 6. Transitions: Use linking words/phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

highlight

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice structure to your argument.

highlight

You have addressed both viewpoints and supported your ideas with examples. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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