Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
A number of members of the public have the opinion that the Adult age
time
when you are young the
most enjoyable period of life. Another view Add a missing verb
is the
that
older people are happier Add a missing verb
is that
although
they have more work to do. I will examine both opinion
and give my own point of view.
In terms of being young, there are a good of advantages. For the first have Change to a plural noun
opinions
less
things to do
Change the quantifier
fewer
for example
primary students every weekday they just go to school study
and on the weekend they have Fix the infinitive
to study
a
free Correct article usage
apply
time
. Secondly
more time
like on the weekend they can do anything what
they want to do Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as playing
or go Replace the word
play
hangout
with their friends. Correct your spelling
hang out
Finally
, more energy as we can see in normal
case when I was Add an article
the normal
kid
I can exercise and do something else without taking rest but when I get older if I am finishing exercise I need to take rest for two to three hours so I can have Add an article
a kid
energy
to do something again.
With Change the article
the energy
the
reference to the benefits of being older, there are many strengths. In the first place have more money Most Adults usually have a job and Correct article usage
apply
therefore
earn a salary every month and use for
their own necessary. Another one is more freedom Correct pronoun usage
it for
in
Change preposition
at
school
level have to learn Correct article usage
the school
everyday
but in Replace the word
every day
Add a comma
collage,
collage
there will be more free Correct your spelling
college
time
and go where ever
they want. Correct your spelling
wherever
Lastly
Add a comma
,
have
more experience than young age Change the verb form
has
cause
they live in Correct word choice
because
this
world more than kids.
In summary, I strongly agree that early life is more satisfactory than the later years, especially because juvenlie
do not need to work or take much responsibility and they can have fun with their childhood. For Correct your spelling
juvenile
juveniles
me
Add a comma
me,
this
moment can happen only one
in Correct your spelling
once
the
Correct article usage
a
life
Correct your spelling
lifetime
time
and it was the best period of my span.Submitted by nugentsr on
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coherence cohesion
Work on writing clearer and more precise topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion by including some counterarguments.
language grammar
Proofread your work to avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the debate, fulfilling the task requirement.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples to support your points, helping to clarify your arguments.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.