Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. Whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children both point of views and your opinion.

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With
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
show examples
era, computers became the source of entertainment, knowledge and so on. A group of people think that using
electronices
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electronics
to play
Vedio
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Video
games is
benifiecial
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beneficial
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Guradians
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Guardians
advocate that excessive use of play stations and consumption of
such
Linking Words
content is dangerous in many ways. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will present both sides and express my
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perspective
peresective
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perspective
, as I feel
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction needs more clarity and refinement to clearly establish the context and main points you'll discuss.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop both perspectives about video games by providing specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors for better clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a well-defined conclusion to summarize your argument and reinforce your perspective.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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