IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Topic: digital communication technology such as email, instant messaging and social media has improved communication and connection between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#topic #communication #technology #email #instant #media #connection #people
In
this
 fast-growing
word
Correct your spelling
world
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 technology is a major asset which helped us in many ways. Communication technology helped us a in improving our communications and helped us to connect with people all over the world. I
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
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 with
this
 statement. In the later coming
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
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 I will explain reasons to justify my opinion. In
this
 rapidly evolving
word
Correct your spelling
world
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 technology is very important. It helps us to make connections with people far from us.
Such
 as, with the help of these
inventions
Add a comma
inventions,
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 we can talk to our loved ones sitting in our homes even when they are living in different countries.
Secondly
, these advanced developments
also
helps
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help
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 us to learn new things through
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
For example
, we can search
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
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 from our computer and find it on our screen. It saves
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of energy and time to search those resources and information.
Last
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
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least, these technologies
helped
Wrong verb form
help
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 us to stay connected with the world and provide us
all
Change preposition
with all
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 the information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
discovery
Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
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 occurring all over the world. It allows us to communicate with our work and learn new skills which will eventually boost us to earn more money. To summarize
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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 is increasing day by day as it becomes the basic necessity of our generation. It is
good
Add an article
a good
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 movement to use
this
 because it is helping us in many ways as described above. In the near
future
Add a comma
future,
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 many people will rely on these inventions to make
there
Replace the word
their
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 earnings.
Submitted by ijazwamiq on

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task achievement
Improve grammar and sentence structure, and avoid repetitive phrases. For example, instead of saying 'in this fast-growing word technology is a major asset' and 'in this rapidly evolving word,' try to vary your vocabulary and phrasing.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Mention real-life examples or statistics to make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. For instance, using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'On the contrary' can enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Summarize key points in the conclusion succinctly to reinforce your arguments. While your conclusion is good, making it slightly more concise can improve impact.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and provided several reasons to support it.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, fulfilling the necessary structure.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically grouped into paragraphs, each with its focus.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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